Penis soap? Please, that was so last week.
Now that the world has penis-shaped lipsticks and penis-shaped candles, clearly the only thing we're missing is more items shaped like genitals.
People have been producing a line of novelty phallic items that would make your head explode, but those same artisans are nothing if not equal-opportunity offenders. You can literally find anything shaped like particular sex organs on the Internet ... and we would know, because we looked.
Ever wanted to wash your penis with a penis? We've got you covered. Or light a romantic fire with a gigantic phallus-shaped candle holder? You know it's a thing.
But what if your delicate areas require a more feminine touch? Then wonder no longer, because yes, that's out there, too. You can now purchase your very own soap shaped like a flower from a Georgia O'Keeffe painting!
Melia Fortuna, the owner of Etsy shop “SlickeryBlends,” makes custom ordered soaps that are great to pass out at bachelor/bachelorette parties, as gag gifts, or even, as her page suggests, as interesting White Elephant gifts.
The soap is handmade by Melia using goat’s milk melt, and she can add various scents to the batch she’s working on. Her orders are all custom, so the processing time for larger orders can be somewhere around two weeks, though she says it’s typically a few days for a smaller one.
The shop also contains a wide variety of genitalia-related items, like penis candle votives and even soap “rings” designed to help clean ... well, take a look and we’re sure you’ll understand. SlickeryBlends seems wholly aimed at making you clean via the dirtiest way possible.