We’re not here to purposefully make everything awkward and weird - that just happens naturally.
So many things in life are hard to understand. Like why does the buttered bread always land face down on the floor? Or why does it always rain when I finally take the time to do my hair? Or, most importantly, why does no one on the road know how to drive except me?
Life is full of confusing things. But because I'm kind and generous, I'd love to help you understand something that might completely confound you: introverts. You either love them because you are one or you're just completely at a loss for what to do with them.
I, an introvert, am here to help. Here are some things we introverts want you to know so you can be less confused about life and other important stuff — meaning, us.
1. We are really good listeners... sort of.
It's true. We will listen to you talk all day. We would rather you talk than us. We're often labeled as "easy to talk to" or " such good listeners" but it's mostly just us trying to avoid talking ourselves, so we act interested in what you're saying.
2. No, really, we love just staying home.
Stop trying to make us do stuff. Seriously, go rescue a dog, not us.
3. Small talk? No.
We would rather show up late or use the bathroom for an extended amount of time than small talk with people we don't know. No, I don't have irritable bowel, I just don't want to discuss the unseasonably seasonal weather with you.
4. If we see you in public, no matter how much we like you, we will probably hide.
One time I saw my mom out in public unexpectedly, and my first thought was, "Oh no!" And it was my mom. And I like her. So it's nothing personal, we just really don't want to stand around and talk to you when we were trying to do something else. Unless you're a friend from high school, then it's probably personal. Sorry.
5. A few close friends is enough.
In high school when popularity ruled, I juggled more friends than I wanted to. Now as a thirty-something, I don't have to do that anymore. For me, three or four close, good friends are better and more than enough. For some introverts that might even be too much. Strangely enough, I'm drawn more to extroverts than introverts, but I'm not sure why that is.
6. If you're in, you're in.
We are loyal to the death. If we've made time for you, engaged in your life, and let you inside the bubble, welcome, friend. Let's grow old together.
7. We like people. From a distance. Once a month-ish.
It's not that we don't like people (well, most of us), it's just we reach our limit fast. An active social calendar sounds good in theory, but sometimes just making it through the work day is draining. Plus, Amazon Prime keeps delivering those books so fast, I really just don't have time to leave my house anyway.
8. Our silence doesn't mean acceptance.
See: we are really good listeners. But that doesn't mean we're agreeing with everything you're saying. It's probably just not worth the hassle to say anything different. But inside we are totally rolling our eyes.
9. We might seem quiet on the outside, but our brains never stop.
Never. Never ever. Maybe we can't handle all the people, because sometimes it feels like all the people are in our heads and there's just not room for anyone else.
10. Stopping by unannounced means we're hiding in the closet.
Don't do this. We don't care if you're in the circle; nothing sends us into sneaky, silent ninja mode like someone knocking on the door. We need a heads up, please. Every single time.
There are so many confusing things in this loud, boisterous world (Trump, fanny packs making a comeback, a hit song titled "Cake by the Ocean" to name a few), but introverts shouldn't be. We're reserved but not shy; quiet, but not timid. And we're not here to purposefully make everything awkward and weird — that just happens naturally. You're welcome.