"You're more wife material, but I'm just looking to have some fun right now."
The modern dating world I have voluntarily entered is confusing. It's filled with guys and girls who actively project arrogant, "I don't give a damn" vibes — and these inattentive vibes are meant to attract those they DO care for. Let's face it, the person who seemingly cares less, wins.
What kind of f*cked up logic is this? If I like you, I will tell you, and probably get heartbroken when you give me some bullsh*t excuse for why you don't feel the same.
I'm new to this dating game but I'm not sure if modern dating really constitutes as dating at all. This generation is replacing dates and romance with one night hookups and lust for love.
I don't fall easily, but when I do, I fall hard. Guys, when I tell you I like you, I'm not begging for a relationship or insinuating the idea of marriage; I just want your company.
I've only ever told a few guys I liked the but it always ends the same: "Thanks, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now." This response leaves me thinking, "That's funny. I don't remember asking for a relationship," followed by constant over-thinking of everything I could've done differently.
I have even been told a time or two, "You're more wife material, but I'm just looking to have some fun right now." Ouch. Don't flatter yourself, bub. I'm truly capable of being the fun, carefree girl you want; I'm just being honest about how I feel. I'm not suggesting we go steady and doodle hearts next to each other's names in our notebooks. I'm simply asking for some of your time.
It becomes too easy to start believing there's something wrong with me when this happens but deep down, I know there isn't. Once we all accept that not everybody is going to like or desire us, it becomes easier. Sometimes people just don't want anything serious and other times, you're just not who they are looking for. It happens.
I know there are guys out there who would love to have me as a girlfriend — and eventually a wife — but it seems for the majority, I'm the girl who is perfect for the long haul. They know I will be 100 percent committed and love them unconditionally but right now, all they want is fun.
If I tell a guy I like him, he probably just assumes I'm trying to pressure him or tie him down before he's ready, which is not my intention. I don't understand the modern dating world — maybe because I'm old-fashioned — or maybe because this thing we're doing isn't even dating at all.
I'm fine with being the girl guys want to settle down with eventually. It is nothing to be ashamed of. However, it is definitely not fun watching others happily ride off into the sunset with their SO's while I'm spending my weekends with my bottle of wine, my bed, and Netflix.
I won't change myself to please anybody. If anything, this will give me more time to work on the woman I want to be.
This article was originally published at Read Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.