I love my children, but I need to get laid on a regular basis or I will lose my shit.
By Sarah Fader
I’m a 36-year-old woman and I’m an extremely sexual person.
I’ve always been this way—even as a teenager. I appreciate sex and the intimacy that goes along with it. I love a good orgasm and I especially enjoy being on top. I’m not afraid to discuss sex from a female perspective.
Enter slut-shaming—if a woman displays an outward interest in liking sex—she's automatically labeled promiscuous.
In reality, there's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying sex. In fact, sex is an essential part of life—not just for procreation, but for fun.
Let’s add another complicated layer to this cake—I’m a woman, but also a single mom. Society dictates that I should be focusing 100 percent of my time and energy on my children—my babies.
Let’s get two things straight—I love my children with all my heart and soul, but I need to get laid on a regular basis or I will lose my fucking shit.
Sex—and especially good sex—is an integral part of being a human being—whether you're a mom or not. Being a mom and enjoying sex aren't mutually exclusive. I can have the identity of “mom” and also be a sexual being.
For the record, the term MILF—not into it. It’s an offensive and unnecessary term—undoubtedly created by men to show that a mom who still likes to have sex is a fetishized outlier—an exception to the “rule” that women aren't supposed to enjoy sex.
We've been made to believe that all men like sex and that women shouldn’t talk about it. Well—I feel strange even writing this—I like to wake up in the morning, climb on top of my sexual partner, and ride him.
Does that make you uncomfortable? Well, I have news for you—there's nothing wrong with that. I—nor anyone else, for that matter—should be labeled a “slut” or a “whore”—I’m simply a human who likes to orgasm.
Still, I hesitate to discuss my love of sex with certain people—the ones I feel will judge me. With my guy friends, I can openly say, “Man, I need to get laid,” and we’ll have a mutual laugh. I won’t be having sex with them, for the record. But we do commiserate on having sex—or not.
However, there are only a handful of female friends with whom I can candidly discuss my love of sex. I’ve had female friends question my sex life before.
One friend asked, “But if you have sex with a man, won’t you automatically get attached to him?”
To have sex with anyone, I need to feel an intellectual connection with that person. I can’t have sex with a man who has no brain. But, as far as the longevity of the relationship, we’ll see where it goes. Just because I’ve had sex with you doesn't mean we have to get married. This isn't the 1950's.
I want to be able to freely express my sexuality without being judged by anyone of any gender. I just wonder—is this possible?
This article was originally published at Ravishly. Reprinted with permission from the author.