Know your worth — then add tax.
By Daniella Appolonia
People are ditching the resolutions this year in favor of setting “intentions.” Instead of looking at the New Year as a time to solve a problem with a resolution, they look to an intention to tap into their awareness of different ways they would like to behave in life. After all, people are not problems to be solved.
An intention is defined as “a determination to act in a certain way.” Interestingly enough, in medicine, it’s defined as “the healing process of a wound.”
As your journey is beginning in 2016, whether you’ve made resolutions or intentions or neither, and whether or not you have a wound that needs healing, one thing you should keep in the back of your mind is this little mantra: “I am a F*ck Yes.”
Unconventional? Yes. Effective? Definitely.
Mark Manson is an author, thinker, and life enthusiast, according to his website. One thing he forgot to list was “inspirational human.” He has a beautiful, empowering theory about the way relationships, and life in general, should be approached. It’s called “The Law of “F*ck Yes or No.”
According to Mark Manson’s site, “The Law of ‘F*ck Yes or No’ states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say ‘F*ck Yes’ in order for you to proceed with them. The Law of ‘F*ck Yes or No’ also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a ‘F*ck Yes’ in order for you to proceed with them.”
Manson discusses how relationships in our society have taken a downward spiral, full of manipulation, miscommunication, and game-playing. In modern times, people are left twiddling their thumbs – not knowing when to send that text, make that call, or use that cute emoji they’ve been dreaming up for days.
“Much of it gets exceedingly analytical, to the point where some men and women actually spend more time analyzing behaviors than actually, you know, behaving… If you’re in the grey area to begin with, you’ve already lost,” says Manson.
Manson continues by posing a series of philosophical questions that would make anyone question every past relationship decision they’ve ever made:
- “Why would you ever be excited to be with someone who is not excited to be with you?”
- “If they’re not happy with you now, what makes you think they’ll be happy to be with you later?”
- “Why do you make an effort to convince someone to date you when they make no effort to convince you?”
- “What does that say about you? That you believe you need to convince people to be with you?”
Most of us have been on that not-so-fun side of a twosome, and being in limbo is not a good feeling.
The moral of the story? Both people involved in a relationship, or something that is at least headed in that direction, deserve to be all in and super excited about being in each other’s company. Otherwise, it is often a total waste of time for both parties. Men of “mystery,” unanswered text messages, and cat and mouse games get real old real fast.
Simple, right? Now that you truly believe how awesome you are and that you totally deserve a “F*ck Yes!” in your life, here’s how to live out what you’ve learned:
1. Practice What Momma Was Preachin'
Remember that golden rule, “Treat others the way you want to be treated”? Start with YOURSELF. That’s right. If you practice self-respect, you’ll start demanding that up front from the lovers you let into your life and heart.
2. Get Off The Hamster Wheel
Know your worth and finally break the cycle. Drowning your feelings in a bottle of tequila, drunk dialing an ex, hooking up with a stranger. Sound familiar? Most of the time, it’ll only leave you feeling more sad and lonely. Don’t hook up for the sole purpose of hooking up, or date guys who just aren’t that into you. You deserve a better, honest connection. (Unless chasing tail is all you’re really after, then go for it!)
3. Ask & You Shall Receive
Practice open communication – no one’s a psychic except that woman on “Long Island Medium.” If you can establish an open dialogue and define boundaries, that’s the first step in voicing your demands and maintaining your confidence in the beginning of any relationship.
The best part? The Law of “F*ck Yes or No” applies to all kinds of relationships – romantic, platonic, purely sexual, even friendships.
The bottom line is that the feeling has to be all there. No grey areas allowed. No “they will grow on me.” No settling.
No woman should ever want to be with anyone who is not over the moon, all “F*ck Yes!” about being with her. No woman should sacrifice her time and her energy while trying to navigate the horrors of the dating world with people who are just lukewarm about her as a dating prospect.
Your happiness is at stake here. Take control of your destiny, ladies, and let this mantra make you strong to your core.
YOU are a F*ck Yes!
Write it on your bathroom mirror with bright red lipstick, or on a Post-it and put it on your car dashboard. Wake up and shout it from your rooftop every morning!
Believe it, preach it, pass it on.
This article was originally published at Never Liked It Anyway. Reprinted with permission from the author.