WTF: Saudi Man Said He Tripped And His Penis 'Fell Into Girl'

You know when you're watching some legal drama like The Good Wife or How to Get Away with Murder and some outrageous thing happens in the courtroom or there's some wild miscarriage of justice? You laugh and think to yourself, "That would never happen in real life." 

Well, it looks like something completely implausible did happen, and the man with the worst defense for an accusation of rape was cleared of all charges. 

Saudi millionaire and property developer Ehsan Abdulaziz, 46 (also known as old enough to know better), was accused of raping a teenager as she slept off a night of partying on his couch in his expensive apartment in London. Abdulaziz's excuse was that he tripped and fell on the 18-year-old girl, and penetrated her by accident.

Earlier in the evening, Abdulaziz had sex with the 18-year-old's friend but he admitted his penis might have been poking out of his underwear when he had allegedly gone to wake the woman on the couch to offer her a t-shirt to sleep in, or pay for a taxi home. Abdulaziz claimed that the teen pulled him on top of her.

"Her eyes were closed; she opened her eyes straight away. It was like a giggle, and straight away she kissed me and I kissed her back. I'm not proud of it, but I would never have done anything else," Abdulaziz said. He then claimed that she put her hand on the back of his head and then placed his hand on her crotch. "I think she was embarrassed because she knew I wasn't up for anything. I said [your friend] is sleeping here and if you want you can go."

The young woman said that she pushed him off of her, but Abdulaziz countered with the argument that if she had done so he would have fallen backwards over a coffee table.

"If she had pushed me, I would have ended up in the hospital. I'm very fragile; it's very, very narrow between my table and the couch."

He claimed that traces of his DNA found in her vagina were because of his fall and because it was possible that he had semen on his hands after the sexual encounter with her friend.

In court, Abdulaziz maintained his innocence, saying, "I'm fragile. I fell down, but nothing ever happened between me and this girl."

Abdulaziz's lawyer, Jason Bartfeld, said to Mr. Abdulaziz's accuser, "The reality is he never put his put his penis inside you, he never even tried to have sex with you."

The jury cleared Abdulaziz of one count of rape after half an hour of deliberations.

In this case, reality was a lot stranger than fiction and it's very disheartening that a jury would believe such a terrible excuse for an attempted rape or sexual assault.