Most importantly, STOP FAKING!
I had the worst sex of my life with "Alex." We were just friends, until he seduced me with his saucy salsa moves and kissed me after 10 shots of Patrón. I was drunk, single and really needed to get laid. So we began dating, even though I’d constantly eye him and think, 'Am I even attracted to you?'
When we finally had sex, he humped me like a cat in heat. As I shared in my book Love Trips, it never improved between the two of us.
I stuck with him for months. I let him climb on top of me, hoping I’d orgasm without oral sex. Oh, he was amazing at giving head. It made no sense that he was so bad at intercourse!
If you're having a similar experience, don't panic! You can turn it around. Here are some things to do when the sex is whack:
1. Wiggle Underneath Him
Sometimes you need to point him in the right direction. If you’re too shy to actually show him what you like (more on that later), wiggle your way to climax. He’ll wonder why you're working so hard.
These subtle movements, however, might not always work. If he isn’t in tune with your needs or your body, he’ll just think you’re having an epileptic seizure.
2. Take Charge
Take the lead, and get into the position that will help you climax. Play a game of S&M, and command him to be the submissive. Once you’ve banged him, explain to him why that position and those moves worked for you. That way he knows what turns you on even when you’re not in charge.
3. Don't Fake It
Many women feel it’s easier to fake orgasms than to confront the issue head on. Well, stop! Si no your lover will assume everything is just fine. And why wouldn’t he? You’re howling like a wolf every time you have sex. He thinks he’s “the man” because you’ve made him feel like a stud in bed. So stop faking!
4. Tell Him
I failed to be honest with "Alex", so he continuously banged me like a hole in the wall. If you don’t speak up, your guy won’t think anything is wrong — especially if you’re faking orgasms. Even if you don’t feign pleasure, a man might think there’s something wrong with you. You have the broken vagina; it’s not him! Set him straight — gently.
5. Show Him What You Like
Showing him what turns you on will turn him on — and it will help him discover what pleases you. Masturbate in front of him. Take his hand and guide him. If he goes off track, lead him back to the Promise Land.
6. Use Sex Toys
Using sex toys opens up a dialogue about fantasies, turn ons and turn offs. Start by using a vibrator on your clitoris; this will show him how you like to be touched. The clitoris is a woman’s money spot, and if your hombre learns how to stimulate it, you’ll pretty much orgasm every time you have sex.
Once you graduate from bullets for the clit, amp it up to vibrating dildos. Just make sure your guy is willing to play!
7. Get A Personalized Sex Kit
Couples Chemistry is a unique company that creates personalized sex kits. You and your partner fill out a questionnaire, and in a matter of weeks, you receive a special package at your door with goodies that will rev up your sex life. Tools like Couples Chemistry help couples connect and communicate about what they need and want sexually.
Truly, communicating is the only way to go from snooze-inducing sex to toe-curling, God-hollering, back-arching sex.
This article was originally published at Latina. Reprinted with permission from the author.