The 7 "Golden" Rules Of Dating In 2015 (Without Killing Yourself)

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The Dating Bill of Rights
Love, Self

Consider these your unalienable rights.

Some of the following scenarios happened to me and to dear friends of mine. I was a victim of multiple scenarios, but chose to let my date's downfalls slide. I didn't want to discriminate just because of a little lack of education, but I realized that my second grade son's spelling and grammar were better than this guy's.

And that's how I created the Dating Bill of Rights: 

1. You have the right to decline an invitation from a guy who asks you out for the first time via text. Especially if the text contains horrifically misspelled third grade words (unless you're in the third grade, in which case, why the heck are you dating and texting?).

2. You have the right to decline a same-day invitation if it's a first date.

3. You have the right to turn around and go home if the guy you're meeting for a coffee date cannot open the door for you, pay for your cup of coffee, or walk you to your car.

4. You have the right to turn around and go home if the guy you've met over the internet for the first time has obviously used a fake or photoshopped picture. His real photo in no way resembles his online profile picture. This man is a liar, delusional, or he's impersonating someone.

5. You have the right to turn down a first date invitation when the guy cannot make an actual plan for the date. If he's so indecisive and asks you out without any clue about where he wants to take you or how much money he wants to spend, and leaves the decision making to you, this guy may not actually have any balls.

If you do accept his non-invitation and you make a plan for the date, you basically just asked yourself out and planned your own date. You don't need him for that.

6. You have the right to never take another call from a man who has set up a date with you, but then calls a few hours before to cancel. And his reason for canceling is that he has to clean his house, or a similarly triflin' excuse.

7. You have the right to run like hell from a Tinder Date who tracks you down at a candlelight vigil. It's there that he thinks it's appropriate to meet for the first time. You have the right to ignore that triflin' bastard, or just left swipe him to his face.


Sonja Warfield is a television comedy writer known for her work on the Emmy Award-winning NBC comedy, Will & Grace, and most recently for the BET comedy, The Game. She's also the author of the newly released book, Big Fat Negro, Get Your Lazy Ass Off My Couch, a woman’s guide to getting rid of her deadbeat husband, boyfriend or boo thing of any ethnicity.



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