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A Type A personality might love differently than you, but that doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they have.
By Laura Lifshitz — Last updated on Jul 02, 2023
Everyone has his or her own way of expressing love to a partner, but "Type A" people have their own little particular way of showing the people they love a little TLC.
Sometimes, you might feel like your Type A lover always has the answer and you don't, but we're not perfect and don't expect you to be —although we set the bar high for ourselves and sometimes everyone around us.
No matter what, our minds are busy thinking of a million ways to do everything just right, and sometimes it's plain exhausting. Of course, as the object of a Type A's affection, you'll always feel loved and adored, which is a great thing.
The little things you told us that you thought no one would remember? Well, we remember. That dream wish or vacation you've been talking about for years, but haven't gotten off the ground? Your Type A love will make it happen effortlessly, somehow.
Type As are over-achievers and that translates into love — and if you're lucky, even in the bedroom. Wink.
Here are 12 ways "Type-A" people love differently:
1. We have a method to our gift-giving madness
We want others to acknowledge us during our special moments, so we give back the same precise attention when it comes time for a lover's birthday or other celebration. Expect your Type A Babe or Man to ask you what you want and in detail.
If we can't get you to respond, we start to investigate. That's when we'll sneak in your closet and rummage around for sizes and other details — not because we're snooping for a bad cause.
To us, a gift is an important way to say, "I love you," and we don't want to make a risky choice. If that means a gift card over picking up some potentially offensive trinkets, we will go with the boring gift card.
2. We don't show our love quietly
That doesn't mean we will stand in Grand Central Station with a bullhorn screaming our undying love to passersby, but it means that we're typically affectionate and go out of our way to make a declaration of love. It might be frequent touches, presents, or emails, but we aren't exactly the timid or lazy type when it comes to expression.
3. We beat ourselves up over mistakes
When your Type A partner hurts you or does something to upset you, it's a hard pill for us to swallow. We want things to be just right; let's just say we didn't take getting anything less than an A in school very easily, so we take our mishaps to heart.
Some people think Type As believe we're perfect, but that's false. It's not that we don't believe we're capable of making mistakes; we hold ourselves up to ridiculously high standards at times. So, simply knowing we hurt, or perhaps did the wrong thing with a loved one is a harsh internal beating for us.
In our minds, we think we should've averted this naturally in our own over-achieving minds, and we didn't.
Be kind when delivering the news (blows to our ego) and expect that we may try to overcompensate for our mistake for a while in order to win back that "A" rating. What does that mean? This means we may bring on the romance and affection in droves, run to bring you your favorite foods or pack you a lunch for work.
As we spend time trying to win back that "A" from our love on the inside, we're cursing ourselves out for that one evil mistake we made.
4. We're great social directors
Your Type A paramour will easily navigate, plan, and invite people into your life like a professional cruise director. This doesn't mean he or she will be an absolute extrovert, but that social events and plans will typically go off without a hitch because no one can throw a better party than a Type A person.
So get on your party hats and be prepared to meet a ton of people, because your Type A lover knows how to mingle and mix like a pro.
5. We show strong leadership skills, but we're also bossy
I hate to say it as a Type A person myself, but we can be bossy. We enjoy leading and don't often want to sit on the sidelines in some secondary role, which makes us fantastic at reaching goals and making headway — but it also makes us awfully fabulous at butting in with our two cents.
You'll enjoy your motivated partner's ability to reach goals with ease and speak up for her or himself, but you will hate having to tell this leader to back down because he or she will take it personally. This is one of your lover's flaws.
6. We hate not being in control
We may like to lead, but part of a Type A person's desire to lead comes from the fact that it's so easy for us, and it's hard to watch others struggle with that role. Plus, we feel indebted to doing the right thing in many ways, so backing off from our leadership role makes us feel as if we're abandoning others, so to speak.
If you want your Type A partner to step back, explain that doing this will give him or her a chance to focus energies on another project and give someone else the chance to shine. Oh, and maybe relax a little. Of course, relaxing isn't so easy for the Type A crew.
7. We don't know how to relax without a little coaxing
If you're looking forward to a relaxing day with your Type A partner, expect that he or she may need some prep to make this happen. Taking time off of goals and doing nothing all day is totally counter-intuitive to the Type A being.
You may have to give out a few massages or set the perfect relaxation vibe in order for your lover to become at ease with the whole "relaxing" (doing nothing) thing all day. Sure, your partner will plan the perfect Caribbean vacation and relax while on the sunny beaches, but a regular day-in-the-life lazy day isn't an easy feat.
8. We take a while to shut down our brains in the bedroom
If you've got a very tightly-wound Type A lover, expect him or her to take a bit longer to climax from time to time. This may mean some good foreplay beforehand, or an erotic or romantic vibe in order to reach that ultimate "O."
This is because your Type A's brain takes longer to shut off than your average bear, so catch him or her in a very erotic situation and/or make those love-making sessions a bit longer to make his or her engine really revved up.
9. We absolutely LOVE pleasing our partner
If you're struggling to orgasm, your Type A bedmate will do whatever it takes to make your release happen. If you thought your Type A partner was simply competitive in the real world, there's no way a Type A will let his or her partner take a loss in the bedroom either.
A Type A person wants to be the best in all playing fields, so enjoy that desire to please and prepare for pleasure.
10. We're too competitive for our own good
Type As are competitive folks and don't suffer losing very well, which means they take rejections, setbacks, and losses in any matter of life very hard. Expect your Type A lover to harbor some physical ailments from the stress of loss or rejection, so be empathetic.
It may be a small loss to you, but to the Type A person who's prepped with every inch of his or her being, it feels like someone put a sign on them that says, "You really suck."
11. We argue like lawyers when we're fighting
Be prepared for a fight and line up all of your points logically when arguing with your Type A partner. Type A folks aren't meaner or more irascible than the general population, but their competitive streak makes them adept at arguing like trial lawyers.
When your Type A partner admits to any wrong, know that even if it takes five or fifty minutes to admit defeat, this defeat will take a while to repair for your Type A husband or wife. It's not that your partner is unable to believe he or she is wrong; fighting with someone takes energy and wit and it's draining.
Then, of course, there's the sadness of being wrong and hurting your partner. Type As takes this to heart.
12. We don't like surprises or last-minute ideas
Type As are organized. If you live with us and love us, your place is a fine and well-oiled machine. If you need something done, your Type A will do it and leave no stone unturned.
But if you want to spring a last-minute trip or idea on your Type A babe or beau, expect some initial resistance, unless it's a romantic endeavor or a way to further a Type As career or personal agenda. Still, even if it's a career opportunity or a trip to Hawaii, a Type A will initially panic at the lack of preparation until he or she realizes that a gem has been placed in his or her hands.
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Laura Lifshitz is a former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate currently writing about divorce, sex, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, and marriage. Her work has been featured on YourTango, New York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, and more.