The World's Most Beautiful Vagina Belongs To...

Photo: weheartit
The World's Most Beautiful Vagina Belongs To...
Sex, Self

Yes, there's an actual contest to decide.

Are you still upset that your mother never let you enter any beauty contests? Oh, the injustice of it all.

You know in your heart that you had what it took to win. You could've crushed all those other competitors into the ground if you had any talent whatsoever, but that's beside the point.

You're a winner, if you'd only been lucky enough to have a pageant mom. Of course, you could've been Miss America or Miss Universe without her consent, but by that time you were all grown-up, and your dream of being a beauty contestant had been put on hold while you figured out the rest of your life.

Good news: you still can be a winner.

There's a new contest, one that can prove to the world you're the most beautiful ... and you don't even need to look good in an evening gown, or answer any questions about world peace.

All you have to do is enter the World's Most Beautiful Vagina Contest, and you could win up to $5000 and a trip to Los Angeles.

Did I mention that you'll be providing some valuable information that will benefit others? Yes, it's true! Yhe winners, while in Los Angeles, will have their vagina 3-D scanned to help improve an already existing product. 

If you're interested in competing for this coveted prize, simply take a picture (using a digital camera, not your phone) of your vulva while holding a printed-out hashtag that says #AutoblowVaginalBeautyContest (which isn't awkward at all), and upload your image to the Internet for men to judge and vote on.

If this sounds empowering and sex-positive to you, then I say go for it.

Brian Sloan, the man behind Autoblow 2, has created the World's Most Beautiful Vagina Contest to help give his blowjob-simulating sex toy some authenticity.

Did you know that most vagina masturbators that are advertised as being molded from the vaginas of porn stars aren't? I know, it's shocking to think that your man believes he's buying a pocket pu**y molded after Katie Morgan's vagina, but he probably isn't.

In fact, most of the plastic vaginas look strangely similar. And everyone who's been up close and personal with a vagina knows that every one of them is as distinct as a snowflake, as there are zillions of different shapes, sizes, and ladyscaping choices that personalize everyone's favorite lady-part.

All vagina owners are encouraged to enter, with the exception of those who shy away from waxing, lasering, or shaving. Bald is beautiful for this contest as the machine can't 3-D scan hair.

Brain Sloan knows that the mouth-sleeve on his Autoblow 2 is a little weird looking, and he wants his future roboginas to be super realistic, while still appealing to his consumers. That's why he wants men to have the opportunity to vote on all different types of vaginas.

His goal is to provide the kinds of vaginas his consumers would have the most success of getting off to, meaning the ones they'd find pleasing ... in a purely artistic sense.

If you've always dreamed of having your vagina rated or being a contest winner, the World's Most Beautiful Vagina Contest is for you. There's no need for vajazzling, and the winner also receives a miniature vagina crown.

Check out the video below:


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