Sex

I'm A Slut — And 100% Proud Of It (So Stop Shaming Me Already)

Photo:  Viorel Sima / Shutterstock
I'm A Slut And 100% Proud Of It (So Stop Shaming Me Already)

Last weekend I went out with the intention of dancing with a few friends, but I ended up spending most of the night "dancing" with a new male "friend" whom I'd just met.

By "dancing," I mean I ground and groped him on the dance floor.

I only noticed other people were staring at us at the point when he had one of his hands on my a**, the other on my boob, and I was licking his neck.

Not only did it not bother me that complete strangers were ogling us in judgment, but it wasn't about to slow me down either. I knew they were watching — and judging — and I just didn't care. Just like I didn't care when I amped it up and pulled another guy into the mix. Do you know what looks worse than having a guy touching your breasts on the dance floor? Two guys touching your breasts on the dance floor.

I ended up going home with the second guy and when morning finally rolled around and I thought back on the night before, I had no regrets because I had a great time.

Yes, I'm a slut and I love it.

But first, let's clarify what I'm talking about when I say "slut."

First off, I'm not talking about a misguided teenager, trying to find love in "all the wrong places". I'm not talking about someone is who is trying to find self-worth by having sex with other people. I'm also not referring to a slut-duo, meaning a slut who comes with a less-than-desirable second quality, like stealing your husband, cheating on you, breaking up a marriage, spreading disease, or any other socially questionable actions.

I am, however, talking about a woman (or man) who chooses to freely share their sexuality, lend a sexual favor (and won't turn one down), and doesn't show the slightest concern in showing some skin.

RELATED: It's High Time To Embrace The "Slut"

I'm talking straight-up slut without any of the nasty, shame-y nicknames. That's what I am. A straight-up slut. (No, I will not sleep with your husband — but I may get naked with each and every one of his single friends.)

Are we on the same page here? Great, let's move on.

Sluts, as I mentioned, get such a bad rap and I really don't get it. Why on earth does anyone else care what I do with my vagina? Why do you care what I do with a d*** that is of no personal interest to you?

And not to mention the grotesque double standard: A man can sleep with 50 women and get high-fives all around. A woman can sleep with 7 and be branded a slut. It's so archaic, I can't even entertain it.

I'm a 32-year-old woman who's having the time of her life. I have a few self-imposed sexual boundaries that I choose to live by (no casual penetrative sex) but oral, nudity, group play, etc, is all good in my book — and if you don't want to read that book, then don't.

Bottom line: I'm not doing anything wrong.

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Being a slut doesn't start and end in the bedroom; it's deeper than that. It starts with the self-discovery of knowing who you are and then standing by it. It starts with being OK with separating yourself from the pressure and expectations to be just like everyone else.

I'm fine being the girl who will shamelessly get naked and fool around just as I'm proud to stop when I hit my boundary line. (Yes, even a slut can say no. Shocker, right?)

No, I'm not a frisky teenager and no, I'm not a confused woman recovering from a really bad marriage. I am a woman who has completely and totally accepted her sexuality.

It took me a long time to get to the point where I was able to admit that I like sex, I like being sexy, I like to do sexy things with my body, and I enjoy doing the aforementioned things with multiple people. It took me even longer to be OK in accepting what other people thought of that.

Until you're wearing my vagina, any problem you have with it is your issue, not mine.

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Alex Alexander is a blogger for YourTango whose written extensively on love, relationships, and lifestyle topics.