Who the hell wants the woman they love and the mother of their children messing up their Sunday?
With Mother’s Day just around the corner, it’s time to think about how to show your favorite mom out there just how much she means to you. While for some that might mean taking her to dinner, buying her flowers, or making her breakfast in bed, for others it means shipping her off to daycare, to “wife daycare” to be exact ― because who the hell wants the woman they love and the mother of their children messing up their Sunday? I mean, seriously.
A spa in Viera, Florida has gone above and beyond the call of duty and created the ultimate Mother’s Day spectacular by offering wife daycare to any man in the area who just really needs to take a break from being a husband.
The flyer, which was sent out in the mail, mind you, not only advertises their wife daycare but also points out that if you “want to go golfing, relax, boating” or “have silence,” then “drop her off with us (with your credit card!)” That’s right: HAVE SILENCE.
While the special runs, presumably, every weekend, booking for Mother’s Day will get you a whopping 10 percent off! Not that that really means much to women, because women can’t do math, hence the reason they’re being shuttled off to wife daycare with their husband’s credit card.
In addition to this super, awesome offer of taking your wife off your hands, the flyer also points out that “mudd [sic] pies are great … but spa days are better,” which is actually code for “your wife thinks your kid is annoying as hell and would really like to quit pretending to be interested in everything he or she does.”
Call me old fashioned, but I’d much rather choke down a delicious MUD pie my non-existent child made than step even one block in the direction of this spa. At least the mud pie only insults in my palate, not my, well, everything else.
I’m all for jokes. I actually, contrary to what one might think because feminists aren’t funny and all that, have a great sense of humor. In fact, I’ve already laughed today ― twice ― but what I don’t find entertaining is 1. The infantilizing of women, 2. Gender stereotyping, 3. Having my taste in mud pie questioned and 4. Being silenced. I know it might seem like crazy talk, but that just doesn’t sound like fun to me. At. All.
While I can see the attempt here, because jokes(!), the execution on the part of Essentials Medispa and Salon is wrong. I’d even go so far as to say that it’s effed up and they may want to contact their publicist stat, because yikes.
There is no set rule as to how one should celebrate Mother’s Day, and if giving your wife or mom a day at the spa is the one thing that’s really going to make her week (or year!), then do it. But if it comes at the hands of the sheer insulting of everything a mom and wife stands for, then it’s probably best to skip it.
I realize it might not get you the silence you’ve been craving, but you win some and lose some ― and this Florida spa lost so bad they deserve a medal for such atrocious idiocy. Oy vey.