Bow Down, B*tches: 20 Signs You're The RIGHT Kind Of Princess

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The RIGHT Kind Of Princess
Love, Self

Maybe "princess" isn't the kind of insult we've all taken it to mean.

You can likely blame Disney (or anti-Disney sentiment), but somewhere along the way the word princess went from a simple noun meaning the wife of a prince or daughter of a sovereign to a pejorative: An entitled (in both senses) woman who's most proud of her heir and hair (not necessarily in that order) and who's regularly in need of rescue from some dragon or another.

It should be pointed out that we're all in need of rescue from the odd dragon here and there, and there's a very good chance that princesses may've gotten a bad rap. Sure, there are a few Season One Sansa Starks out there, but princesses can be Dianas and Leias, too.

Just because you don't mind the occasional ballgown or metallic swimwear doesn't mean you can't kick a little ass when the situation calls for it. Here are 20 signs you just might be the RIGHT kind of princess

1. You can feel when there's a pea buried under that mattress … and then promptly get over it. 

2. You're reasonably sure you can figure out how to slay the aforementioned dragon (or get rid of a mouse) … but you wouldn't mind a little help doing it sometimes, too. 

3. You have handwriting that would make a Japanese calligrapher pee his pants with jealousy … but you can read your guy's chicken scratch just fine. 

4. You're passionate about helping the less fortunate … but you're not a martyr. 

5. You look appropriately regal in a tiara … and you also look appropriately ridiculous in a tiara.

6. You're loved by woodland creatures … but you've never been caught French kissing your spaniel. 

7. You know which fork to use … and that buffalo wings don't require one.

8. You can move like one of the Hough siblings on the dance floor … and then like Elaine on the very same dance floor.  

9. You have WAY more money than him … but you make him feel like a king (or at least a well-heeled knight).

10. You make little boys blush with your smile … and sailors blush with your mouth. 

11. You look like you were genetically engineered to wear chiffon … but you're just as adorable in period sweatpants.

12. You're always sincere… but can still tell a white lie like a champ.

13. You're soft, smell nice and you're purty … but can be hard-as-nails, stinky and ugly when the situation calls for it. 

14. You're great at making friends … but you're not someone anyone wants as an enemy. 

15. You're smarter than him … and often remind him with a trivia night mollywhopping. 

16. You have the best of everything … but your favorite things can't be bought. 

17. You take your sweet time getting dressed … but can be ready in however much time you have. 

18. You're a pretty good equestrian… and a hell of a (reverse) cowgirl.  

19. You can taste the individual notes in fine wine… but you like the one note in Olde English just as much. 

20: You know how to make an entrance … and how to make a Real Housewives-esque exit.

Princesses, like us filthy peasants, are complex. You may not like what happens if you underestimate them. And feel free to Tweet how much you hate this list.



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