60 Unfortunate Signs You're In Love With A Sleazeball
Does he always ask you to hang out but never on a real date?
Sata Production / Shutterstock Though there is no scientific evidence on the subject, in researching this article, we’re fairly sure that roughly 1 in 4 men and women are dating an honest-to-goodness sleazeball (yes, women can be sleazeballs, too).
Read on for true encounters so shocking, you might feel compelled to take a shower ... in bleach.
Here are 60 unfortunate signs you're in love with a sleazeball:
1. They don't know how to communicate
Choosing to run, hide, deny, and ignore instead of communicate respectfully and effectively is cowardly at best.
2. They take attention-seeking pictures
Shirtless photo-in-the-mirror profile pics? D bag. Duck lips? Double d bag. Oompa-Loompa orange tan with frosted lips, fake nails, and tramp stamp? Run.
3. He's done with you the second you sleep with him
You sleep together, and he drops you off the same night and says, "Well, thanks for coming out."
4. They make you feel insecure
Any guy or girl who makes you feel insecure on purpose is a sleazeball.
5. He plays games with you
If he knows about "The Game" and thinks it’s "cool," bye. How old are we?
6. He only texts you as a booty call
Sorry, ladies: If he only calls you for last-minute dates, you’re plan B or C, and it’s just about sex. As they (as in sleazeballs) say, "a side chick will never become a main chick."
7. He won't follow you on social media
You’re sleeping together but can't be Facebook friends or see his Instagram. Red flag!
8. He doesn't mind sharing you
He acts into you, you sleep with him and then he says it’s cool if you see other guys but wants to continue sleeping with you. Ladies, this is not someone you want to spend time with. What dude wants to share that? Oh, we know: a sleazeball.
9. He lovebombs you
Any man who pushes you to be exclusive, swears its destiny, promises you the sun, moon, and stars, and talks about your future on date three is either a sleazeball or a stalker.
10. He makes questionable gestures
Flipping off the camera is not cool, it’s lame. While we’re on that topic, sideways peace signs are just ...
11. He or she doesn’t text you back for days
Everyone has their phone with them 24-7. It’s a sign they only care to speak to you when it’s convenient for them. Or they have a relationship.
12. He doesn't take STDs seriously
He tells you that the STD info put out by the CDC is false and just "intended to scare us". Ew! #GetOffMe
13. She talks about the size of other guys
She talks about the other guy's penis size and says, "but you're good, too."
14. They're on their phone while you're on a date
If he or she is texting while you’re out at dinner or going to the bathroom with their phone, they are likely texting someone else.
15. He's a little too worried about your weight
He says, "I’m glad we’re on the same page about wanting kids–and getting rid of the baby weight quickly."
16. He has an opinion about your hair color
He tells you to dye your hair from blonde to brown to get a boyfriend because attractive blondes are seen as "F*** Toys."
17. They have past relationships with age gaps
He or she is dating men/women who are two decades younger/older and are hotter/richer than them. It must be because they have so much in common.
18. He gives you IOU’s
Actual IOU's on torn cardboard-- instead of gifts on special days.
19. He has never introduced his friends to you
If you have been seeing one another for six months and he’s telling you he loves you but his friends have no idea who you are, you’re not together.
20. He has his own name tattooed anywhere on his body
Enough said. What, is he ever gonna forget it?
21. He sends you unsolicited d*ck picks
No one wants to see that sir!
22. He doesn't remember your friends
Your friend has met them 10 times and they always say "nice to meet you".
23. They don't respect certain days
He/she goes MIA or "gets sick" on special days.
24. He tells you about his weird future plans, that don't involve you
He tells you he plans to date a 25-year-old for 10 years and then "trade her in for a new one" to avoid having children.
25. He won't give you your stuff back
He won’t return the jewelry you left at his house, even through his doorman.
26. He talks about your future but still won’t call you his girlfriend
You are just an emotional sex toy to this man.
27. He wants to make out in bars and on the street
Unless he’s from Europe, then he’s not a d bag, he’s just European.
28. He only refers to you as a friend
You have been sleeping together and doing "couple things" and he still introduces you as his friend eight months in.
29. They believes they're above you
They think having any of the following: A good body, a nice apartment, a pretty face, a black card, a job or money makes you "lucky" to date them.
30. He's only using you for a green card
He dates you and then all of a sudden he tells you he needs to marry you to stay in the country.
31. She doesn't respect certain alcohol brands
She insists on using a particular super-premium liquor — when it’s going into a mixed drink.
32. He has questionable music taste
He dedicates Eminem's "So Bad" to you because it's "Gangsta".
33. He talks about dates, but never one with you
He asks you if you would say yes to a date, you say yes, and no date.
34. He tells you he's married
You go on a date with a guy and after he kisses you, he confesses that he’s married.
35. They turn off notifications on their phone when they hang out with you
He/she puts his phone on airplane mode around you.
36. He drops the 'L-word," and then ghosts
He says he loves you and then you never see him again.
37. He doesn't know what's yours
He asks if you want the clothes other girls left in his apartment.
38. He seems like the greatest thing, until he isn't
He makes himself seem like God’s gift to women and promises you the world for the first three months ... only to find him posted by various women on psychodaters.com.
39. They're still involved with someone else
They say they like you and want to be with you, but need to be sure before they stop dating the person they have referred to as their "F*** Buddy" for the past year.
40. He has a loud car
He has a loud engine that you can hear 10 blocks away.
41. He introduced you to his friend and says, “Isn’t she hot?”
You don't even learn his friend's name.
42. They won’t let you use their phone without freaking out
What are they hiding on there?
43. He uses a lot of hair product
He has more gel in his hair than a Dep factory.
44. He's a 40-year-old struggling DJ who secretly does Molly
There's no way to make that sound cool.
45. He misses plans
He disappears when you already have plans to see each other, and then the next day tells you that he fell asleep at 8 PM... and that he has sleeping pattern issues, and that proof of this issue is that he was born asleep.
46. He talks about what he owns in 90% of his conversations
You cannot seem to care about his shoe collection.
47. He texts and texts and you never see him
Does he live in the sewer?
48. He invites you out, asks you to pay for dinner, and then wants your leftovers
It's nice when a woman can pay for her own meal but communicate that first.
49. They ghost you during business trips
They're not even doing business-related things.
50. He and his roommate are really close
He starts dating you ... and later informs you that he is still living with his ex-wife ... no wait ... he means his wife.
51. He’s Facebook friends with 1,000 hot girls he doesn't know
What is he going to do with so many friends?
52. He actually used the terms "models and bottles"
How old is he? 19?
53. He takes you out on a date and then tells you he forgot his wallet
This is the oldest trick in the book.
54. She tells you, point blank, she expects you to buy her something because "I'm pretty"
I wish being pretty worked like that.
55. He decides he's done with you, after he sleeps with you
He pursues you pretty hard (wants to see you almost every day) and even goes to church with you in Spanish (only speaks English). Then after a month, you sleep with him and he calls you the day after to tell you that there is no chemistry.
56. They have a wandering eye
They have no problem checking out other men/women right in front of you.
57. He lies about where he is on weekends
You have been dating a month and a half and his friends say they met last week at a place down the street ... when he told you he was out of town.
58. He makes insensitive jokes
You meet a man and have a nice time only to have him send you a photo of a man walking a woman on a leash like a dog with the phrase “Johnny Walk Her.” When you are offended, he doesn’t understand why.
59. He calls you “babe” for two months and then you catch him going through your mail because he doesn’t know your name.
He didn't even care enough to give it a guess.
60. He hits on your mom...in front of you
At family dinner too.
Brenda Della Casa is the Author of Cinderella Was a Liar, The Managing Editor of Preston Bailey and Gotham Bandit, A Huffington Post Blogger, and the founder of BDC Life In Style.