Shhh! 10 Secrets Smart Women NEVER Share

Love, Self

Keep these bad boys close to the vest.

We live in a tell-all society that rewards the spilling of secrets, but there are some things savvy women never share. Here, we share 10 pieces of information best kept under wraps. Truts us - your reputation and relationships will thank us later.

1. Your body angst: Show me a woman who loves every single lump, bump, curve, scar on her body and I’ll show you an admirable outlier. The sad truth is that I've personally never met a woman who didn’t want to change something, models included. The difference is savvy women don’t go around calling attention to their perceived imperfections. They know that mentioning their flaws as a way to protect themselves from judgements only invites them. Instead, they highlight the attributes they like, throw out a little sass and rock what their mama gave them.

2. The daily ups and downs of your relationship. Monday, you’re happy, Tuesday you’re “done”, Wednesday, “it’s complicated” but Thursday’s kiss-and-makeup session proved positive and now it's Friday, you’re back in love. This is great news for you and your beau, but your bestie may not be over it just yet, which will suck on Saturday when you all meet up for drinks. While sharing the ins and outs of life are a part of the foundation on which friendships are built, going into every detail of every disagreement may erode your brand as a couple. Do you really want to be labeled the girl who cried breakup?

3. That time you "went a little crazy" over a break-up. OK, so your ex sucked or you texted him million times to limited (or no) response post-breakup. Not a great situation, but it happened, you learned from it (hopefully) and now you've moved on. Sharing this kind of behavior with potential mates will never, ever work to your benefit.

4. How many men you've slept with. Slut-shaming aside (even the terminology for the act is offensive), there’s no need to give the play-by-play of your personal life by way of individual confession. He shouldn't have to, either. If you’ve both been sexually active, accept it as a part of adulthood and move on. What you should confess before sex is the results of your STD tests, which you both should have regularly.

5. Any and all cyber-stalking: So you and your friend’s have looked at your new boyfriend's ex-lover's Facebook page and come to your conclusions. It’s not the best route to take, but let's be honest; most of us take a peek now and then. Just keep said conclusions to yourself.

6. That you could do it better. Whether throwing a dinner or planning a party, there’s something gracious about allowing someone to do their best without pointing out the ways in which you can run circles around them, even if by way of “just trying to help”.

6. That you still think about your ex: It doesn’t matter how close you two are and the fact that you “can tell him anything” doesn’t mean you should. If you’re still feeling confused or sad about a breakup, talk to a trusted friend or therapist and keep your new relationship past-free.

7. How much money you make/spend. Money is a tricky topic and it can bring up a mixture of feelings ranging from anxiety and insecurity to jealousy and judgement. You work hard; you can spend it as you see fit. Just have some decorum in the way you speak about your dinero.

8. Your opinions on his family or your best friend's guy: Unless someone is truly disrespectful or dangerous, there's no need to share your personality conflicts with someone of importance to your guy or girlfriend. Not only will it make them feel bad, or worse, “in the middle” of something, it may wind up causing a rift in your relationship. Not every person we meet will be our shot of vodka, and being an adult means knowing and honoring that while being polite and respecting your loved ones right to choose who to love.

9. The secrets of others. This isn’t grade school and betraying trust is a sign you cannot and should not be trusted.

10. That time you ALMOST moved to Australia for a man who didn't tell his family you existed. What, you didn't do that, too?


Brenda Della Casa is the Author of Cinderella Was a Liar, The Managing Editor of Preston Bailey, A Huffington Post Blogger and the Founder of BDC Life In Style. She is usually found in the gym hitting the speed bag to Eminem, having a wine-down with friends or writing with her beloved Chihuahua, Tony Che Montana, by her side.  Facebook: BrendaDellaCasa Twitter: @BrendaDellaCasa  Instagram: @BrendaDellaCasa



Explore YourTango