"Blueberry Butt" And 7 Other Obscure Pick Up Lines I Don't Get

dean winking

What's cookin' good-lookin'?

By Lindsey.

I'm a single gal in my mid-20s who can wear a tight dress somewhat decently. My friends can do it even better.

Like most ladies out there, we're often the recipients of cat-calling/bad pick up lines. Over the last few months I've compiled a list in my phone of the most obscure, hilarious and downright terrible comments I've heard and received.

Here are a few of them for your enjoyment:

1. "You have the most adorable nose in the province."

- Guy in a pub who obviously has a nose fetish

I didn't feel offended or creeped out by this comment like I usually do in these situations. I was confused more than anything. I have a pretty average nose; and declaring it the nicest nose in an entire province is a bit much, don't you think?

2. "C'mon, everyone has their price.”

- The guy that tried to offer a friend $20.00 to dance with him.

THIS. THIS absolutely gave us the creepy and offensive feelings. In what world is it OK to do this?

3. "What are you saying, blueberry butt?"

- An unstable gentleman walking behind me while I was wearing blue yoga pants

To be fair, I'm pretty sure this guy was excessively drunk at 1:00 p.m. on a Sunday afternoon, so he probably didn't have all his marbles. Still though, why do guys need to make it blatantly obvious that they're looking at our backsides?

4. "Tell me you're over 18 so I can ask for your number."

- Someone with incredibly high morals

I overheard someone ask a girl this in the line-up for a bar. There are a few things wrong with this:

A) You have to be at least 19 to get into bars in Canada, so I would say the guy could've safely assumed this chick wasn't a 17-year-old trying to grab a pint with her high school friends on a Thursday night.

B) She looked at least 25.

C) Do people really ask for numbers before names these days?!

The thing that worries me about this is I'm not entirely sure that if this young lady said that she was under 18, if the guy would've stopped pursuing her. Ugh.

5. "That pink shirt looks smokin' on you!"

- A guy who was obviously too drunk to realize my friend was wearing blue

An outfit compliment! What girl doesn't love to be told how nice her clothes are? Props to this guy for acknowledging how well my friend was able to dress herself for the evening.

Next time though, let's try to get the color of the shirt your complimenting right, shall we? My friend's shirt was blue. Not pink. Not even like a weird purple-ish, blue-ish color. It was just blue.

6. "Well you're not married; you can have a man friend."

A nice, young chap said this to my friend after she refused to give him her phone number by using the "I have a boyfriend" card.

Nothing says chivalry like the suggestion of cheating!

7. "I have a fetish for short girls like you. Can you take your heels off for me?"

-Dude at least 10 years older than me

Anytime the word "fetish" comes up in a pick up line, you know nothing good can come of it. That was the case here. The only thing worse than calling my lack of height his fetish, is asking me to take my shoes off in a filthy bar. No thank you.

8. Three dudes started clapping as I walked by them.

This was one of the worst forms of cat-calling I think I've ever experienced. I'm not a performance. Unless I just danced a jig, told a hilarious joke or saved a baby animal, I do not require applause. Women aren't just walking around town hoping to impress you.

Cat-calling is an issue and shouldn't be something women need to put up with regularly, but these are all pretty silly, harmless comments for the most part. I don't usually feel scared when people hit on me because the guys are harmless and I'm never alone.

Keep in mind though, that not all comments can be taken so lightly. I've received and heard things that should never be uttered in public, let alone directed at a person. And that's not OK.

This article was originally published at xoJane. Reprinted with permission from the author.


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