Can't Get It Up? What His Mom Has To Do With It (Yes, Really)

couple awkward
Sex, Self

Maybe he should have hugged his mom more after all.

Growing up my mother taught both my sister and I to go for men who had at least one sister and were close to their mom. She believed that sisters softened boys, edging out any machismo, and of course any guy who thinks his mom is the best thing on the planet (but has snipped those apron strings!) is indeed a catch.

I guess both my sister and I were listening all those years, even if we weren't totally cognizant of it, because she married a man with one older sister, and I married a man with FOUR older sisters. Neither one has any brothers, and both have (had, in the case of my partner, Olivier) very close, but healthy close, relationships with their mother. What does this mean for my sister and I? Lots of hot, great sex without a cause to worry about erectile dysfunction down the road, of course! Yes, the Chatel ladies hit the jackpot.

But while I'd just love to beguile you with all with tales of all this supposed superior sex that doesn't have a single ounce of ED in sight, what I'm really getting at is that the relationship a man has with his mom just might have a say in what's going on his bedroom, as well as his heart, too.

Researchers at the Charles University in Prague have published their findings from a new study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine about that very topic. Of the 960 men, aged 15 to 88, who were asked about their relationship with their mom and answered queries into their sex lives, it was found that the guys who didn't have the most stellar relationships with their moms not only saw their sex lives suffer because of it, but they were also late to the plate in opening up emotionally to their partners and dropping the big "L" word.

According to the study, it's the "conflict regarding sexuality and/or intimacy," in a man's youth can create "more difficulties with sexual functions later in life…this means that if a man has emotional issues as a young man they may stem into physical issues in his later life." Yes, maybe you should have hugged your mom more after all.

But, as relationship specialist Rachel Sussman points out, as with all studies, this one, too, should be taken with a grain of salt, because there's no one defining, exactly the same answer for every single person who suffers from erectile dysfunction. Sometimes it's just about a lack of focus, stress, or other "more serious psychological issues which may impede intimacy."

No matter what the root may be to an individual's struggle with erectile dysfunction, what everyone can agree upon is that it's something to be addressed, either medically or psychologically.

As for my sister and I, and are lifelong happiness of ED-free sex, I can't really brag my way through that one without some sort of hesitation or fear of jinxing myself. But what I can say is that finding a partner who has a healthy and close-knit relationship with their family, especially if you come from the same background, really does make all the difference. Being with a man who respects his mom is definitely a big a plus, because that means he'll know how to respect you, too. The sex stuff comes second to that.


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