It might seem like something out of a sci-fi movie, but the robots are coming for us. They really are. Not only are they gunning for our jobs, but they have their eyes on our bodies, too. Sex with robots? Yes, it's soon to be a thing.
According to 1,900 robotic experts, by 2025 human beings could be banging robots. "Robotic sex partners will be commonplace, although the source of scorn and division," says Stowe Boyd, the lead researcher for Gigaom Research. Scorn, you say? Boyd thinks that those who have sex with robots will be viewed the same way we "bemoan selfies as an indicator of all that’s wrong with the world." Ouch. I guess that means if you're getting your sexual fix from a chunk (or hunk?) of metal in the future, you probably don't want to go running around bragging about it. I mean, you can, but we'll just roll our eyes at you the way we do every time you post a new selfie of you doing that godforsaken duck face pose.
But while Stowe thinks these people who have sex with robots will be a thorn in the side of humanity, a recent study in the UK found that one in five people would totally have sex with a robot. Which is interesting, to say the least.
It may seem creepy, cold, and definitely hard (that's what she said!), but the truth is there are probably more than a few advantages of having robotic sex. Can’t figure out what they are? Then keep reading.
1. It's All About You
Outside of masturbation, when was the last time you had sex that was completely and totally about you? Never, right? Although I don't know for sure whether or not robots of the future will be fitted with pleasure mechanisms, I think it's safe to assume that your robot isn’t going to be asking for too much reciprocation.
2. You'll Always Orgasm
Well, obviously! Because it’s all about you! And if you take forever to climax, it's not like your robot is going to get tired and says it needs a break. It's a machine, man! A sex machine that’s only purpose is to leave you feeling satisfied.
3. There Are No Emotions To Mess Things Up
Programmed to get in, get out, and do the job right, robots are pretty much a "get out of jail free" card when it comes to emotions. If you don't call for weeks or forget their birthday, it's A-Okay.
4. You Get To Pick And Choose
At the moment, sex dolls are the closest thing we have to sex robots, and if we learned anything from Lars and the Real Girl, we can get to not only choose exactly what our robot will look like, but they’re backstory, too. Can you imagine having that ability with human beings? Life would be pretty much perfect.
5. No Fear Of STIs Or Pregnancy
Unless you're planning on loaning out your sex robot to everyone coming down the street, sexually transmitted infections are totally not a concern. As for pregnancy? It's hard to get knocked up when your robot man isn’t chalk full of semen. Think about all the money you’ll save on birth control! Which will really come in handy if you're employed at Hobby Lobby.
6. Afterward, You Can Have Them Do Your Laundry
If the aim of robots is to be at our beck and call, then after you've had one hell of an orgasm, you can put it to work in the kitchen, or the laundry room, or maybe even have it clean out the dark, creepy, moldy corners of your bathtub! Let's be honest: with a robot, you really can't go wrong.