Newly discovering the role of Dominant, I struggle with who I was, and who I am becoming.
I'm a nice guy.
I'm probably one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. Not meek by any means but nice. When Lacey and I met, she was never a sub. Then we found this power struggle. She found she had sub tendencies and I liked the dom tendencies. Check out my other community postings for how all of this came about.
The other day as we were snuggling after a session, Lacey asked.
- "What do you get out of this?"
We had just spent a significant amount of time together and she was on the receiving end of most of the attention in that time. That is the nature of our D/s relationship.
I thought about it. What did I get out of this relationship? What was I here for? What was my desire? Where was my fulfillment coming from? Why was I the happiest at this moment? What was it about this that I could pin down that I loved.
As we snuggled, I wrapped my arms around her. Folded her arms in on themselves. Wrapped my leg around her. She was cocooned within my body. That's when it hit me. As plain as the nose on my face.
I was hugging Lacey. Every time you hug someone, and they wrap their arms around you. You are either the hugger or or the huggie. My arms always go around Lacey's. I am always the hugger. My arms envelope her. She needs to feel secure. I have the strength to make her feel that way. A hug is still a hug. A hug still fills you with that emotion of closeness, even if you are the one delivering the hug.
It is much the same in our power exchange. I am the caregiver, and she is the recipient. It is really that simple.
Until next time.