What will you do when you need your space?
By Rent.com — Written on Feb 28, 2014
Deciding to move in with your significant other is a crucial moment in a relationship that should not be taken lightly. It can be difficult to figure out WHEN is the perfect time to make that giant leap of financial and emotional faith. Since you'll be sharing the same lease, bills, chores, furniture and a life, it is important to know when to trade in your separate places and make one home together.
Before you eagerly sign the dotted line, check out our tips and decide if you're ready to take that next step. They'll at least get you thinking whether or not you're ready for such a huge commitment. Make sure to be honest in your expectations and thoughts BEFORE the big move — so you don't end up breaking up, tied to a lease and stuck under the same roof.
Topics to discuss:
Future Expectations
For many people, moving in together means that they are ready to take their relationship to the next level and ultimately plan on getting married or having a life-partnership together. If your significant other simply wants to move in to split the rent while you're hearing wedding bells, then that is a huge red flag. There's no need to rush into sharing the same tiny space with someone else before you're both on the same page about your future together.
What to Do When You Need Space
Now that you two will be spending all of your time together in one apartment, it is easy to feel smothered. Instead of being able to pack up your clothes and head home when you need a night off, your significant other will be lounging in the living room or hanging out in the kitchen. You have to figure out what to do when you need space and a break from one another — and try to do this before the big blow-up over days old dirty dishes in the sink.
This brings us to...
Chores and Responsibilities
Who will be in charge of cleaning the bathroom once a week? Are you the one making sure that you're not running out of toilet paper? Does your boyfriend/girlfriend expect you to cook dinner every night? While you’ll typically begin to learn your guy or girl's cleaning habits after you've moved in together, it's good to get a foundation of what expectations you have before the arguments and disagreements blow up.
Finances and Bills
It's unfair to expect one person to pay for everything in the apartment while the other is in charge of picking up the paper towels and soap every so often. Make sure you two sit down and hash out whether you'll be splitting your bills evenly or if you'll have an alternate plan set in place for the apartment. You also should make sure you’ve chatted about who's going to be footing the bill for other expenses such as groceries and household essentials.
WHY now?
Are you moving in together because you've noticed all of your friends ditching their studio apartments for a one-bedroom with their girl or guy? Or do you feel like you've reached a certain age or point in the relationship where you SHOULD just settle down and take the next step? These aren't the right reasons to make such a life-changing decision. Ending a relationship is hard enough when you're across town but imagine if you're in the same apartment — it could end up being an extremely uncomfortable situation.
Think about if you’re really moving in together because you want to and not because you feel like you should.
When it comes down to it, the only two people who know if moving in together is the right thing to do are the two people in the relationship. If you're finding yourself bickering over this list or questioning if you could come home to the same person every single night, then do yourself a favor and wait it out.
Breaking up is hard to do, but breaking a lease is even harder.
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