You Don't Realize Your Phone Is Killing Your Love Life


You Don't Realize Your Phone Is Killing Your Love Life
Just seeing your mobile phone can zap your date's emotional connection to you.

Admit it, you scroll through text messages on your phone that you strategically placed on your chair or lap or while you pretend to look for something in your handbag. You think your date doesn’t notice what you’re doing because there isn’t a break in the conversation. With these moments of distraction, you don’t realize that you’re confusing iContact for eye contact, which is killing your love life.

Look, I get it. You’re important to yourself. Fantastic. You constantly check your texts to keep in touch with your friends and colleagues and to stay in the know. Unless you show your date that they’re important too then they only thing you’ll be touching is yourself.


I’m in the people reading business. I see the fleeting nonverbal messages that pass between people’s bodies. Hey, I’m talking about outside the bedroom. When it comes to love, what your body language says can be more important than the words you speak. The eyes convey interest, emotion, passion, playfulness and desire that help you figure out a possible love connection.

According to a published study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, having a mobile phone in plain view interrupts intimacy between two people who are trying to make a personal connection. Just seeing a mobile phone that’s within reach can zap the romance. This finding makes sense. Think about important conversations that you’ve had with others either on the phone or in person. You find a quiet place with limited distractions so you can focus on your conversation and have privacy. Mobile phones scream distraction with its barrage of pings of texts, emails and social media notifications. No wonder the mere presence of a mobile phone can fizzle your connection.

When making an emotional connection, you can’t afford to miss nonverbal signs of ambiguity. Looking into your date’s eyes allow you to determine if their eyes tell a different story then their words. Are their eyes darting around the room at every distraction? Are they subconsciously rolling their eyes when you laugh? Do they look away from you when share a different point of view? Do their eyes linger on yours when you pull away from a kiss? This attention to detail will help you better gauge your date’s feelings and level of connectedness to you.

While you may not realize that you’re giving your phone more attention than your date, you’re responsible for the subtle nonverbal messages you’re sending. Since your date can’t read your mind, they gauge your interest on their perceptions of your nonverbal messages. Making eye contact on a date can ignite the spark indicating there’s more to explore. Consider this: emotional connection happens when you look into your date’s eyes for at least 60 to 70% of the conversation (Quantified Impressions). So put your mobile phone out of sight to amp up the romance.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Blanca Cobb

YourTango Expert Partner

Blanca Cobb

Body Language and Lie Detection Expert




Location: Greensboro, NC
Credentials: MS
Other Articles/News by Blanca Cobb:

3 Ways Women Say 'I'm Into You' Without Words


A woman's body language often speaks louder than her words. (Hey, you're giving off signs too). Women tend to be subtle in the ways they show their physical attraction. If you're not paying close attention, then she might make a connection with someone who is. Here's what you should be watching for: 1. She's All ... Read more

Leave Now! 5 Body Language Signs That Indicate Domestic Violence


No one gets along all the time. It's impossible to never get angry at your partner. In healthy relationships, there may be some yelling and heated words exchanged, but violence is never a part of the problem. Unfortunately, there are many relationships where physical violence is a means to handling anger. I've worked with many coaching clients ... Read more

Is He Critical Of Your Every Move? 5 Signs He's Gaming You


As a body language expert, I observe the ways couples interact with each other. Over the years I've identified several types of toxic relationships that fall into a category of romance that I've termed "psychological demons disguised as love." One of these types of toxic relationships I call the "Gamer." As the romantic partner of a ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular