John Stamos is like wine and cheese ... he just gets finer with age.
And though Jamie Dornan is the latest face of Christian Grey, we're understandably nervous that he might pull a Charlie Hunnam and bail. Should that be the case, someone get Stamos in a room with producers. We don't care if he occasionally has some, well, grey on his temples. The man was made for the role!
More from YourTango: HGTV's Bill Beckwith's Girlfriend Yulia Korneeva Shares Tribute
He can deliver even the simplest lines with edge and vulnerability.
He can take you to places like the Smash Club and to "Kokomo." Surely he'll be able to take you to the Red Room.
You can tell a musician's "O" face from how he looks when he's playing. And John Stamos' "O" face even looks amazing when framed by a goddamn mullet.
He can play tortured ...
... And stubborn ...
... And pained by poor taste ...
... And cold and caustic.
But just like Christian Grey, he's got a sensitive side!
More from YourTango: Who Is Aubrianna Atwell? 5 Facts About Paul Walker's Ex
And he's got a built in safe word ... er, phrase.
Okay, fine. We also just really want to see John Stamos naked.
More from YourTango!