John Stamos Would Have Made One Helluva Christian Grey!

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50 Shades Of Grey: John Stamos Makes The Sexiest Christian Grey
Anyone who says John Stamos is too old to play Christian Grey is flat out wrong.

John Stamos is like wine and cheese ... he just gets finer with age.

And though Jamie Dornan is the latest face of Christian Grey, we're understandably nervous that he might pull a Charlie Hunnam and bail. Should that be the case, someone get Stamos in a room with producers. We don't care if he occasionally has some, well, grey on his temples. The man was made for the role!


He can deliver even the simplest lines with edge and vulnerability.

john stamos hi

 

He can take you to places like the Smash Club and to "Kokomo." Surely he'll be able to take you to the Red Room.

john stamos guitar

 

You can tell a musician's "O" face from how he looks when he's playing. And John Stamos' "O" face even looks amazing when framed by a goddamn mullet.

john stamos mullet guitar

 

He can play tortured ...

john stamos as uncle jesse angry at uncle joey

 

... And stubborn ...

john stamos tell me im right

 

... And pained by poor taste ...

john stamos bad food

 

... And cold and caustic.

john stamos why am i not surprised

 

But just like Christian Grey, he's got a sensitive side!

john stamos as uncle jesse kissing michelle on full house

And he's got a built in safe word ... er, phrase.
 

john stamos have mercy

john stamos have mercy

john stamos have mercy

john stamos have mercy

Okay, fine. We also just really want to see John Stamos naked.

john stamos tongue

 

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