This baby is proof that celebrities can still surprise us.
That's right folks, the reality TV judge we love to hate (and love to love) is going to have a little one of his own to give his branded form of "constructive criticism."
The 53-year-old is expecting his first child with New York socialite Lauren Silverman, 36. The two have been friends for a while, though they aren't technically together. In fact, Cowell's baby mama, rumored to be 10 weeks along, is still married to real-estate mogul Andrew Silverman. Before you're too quick to judge the couple, don't forget about new parents Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, who conceived before Kim's divorce to Kris Humphries was actually finalized.
In the past, Cowell admitted that he didn't really want to be a father. But he seems to have changed his tune, telling a U.K. publication last April that "I'd want kids if I knew I could be faithful."
Does that mean Silverman is the one? Cowell isn't saying ... although the gossip mill predicts Silverman's scorned husband to bring plenty of divorce drama to the table. So even if an engagement ring and walk down the aisle isn't in the couple's immediate future, stinky diapers and midnight feedings are. So Simon, here's some advice on how to get through the whole new parent thing, straight from yourself:
Another smelly diaper? It comes with the territory. Just don't let Lauren see you react like this:
Just because Simon Jr. liked Rebecca Black en utero doesn't mean his musical preferences are set in stone:
If Simon Jr.'s first word is R-rated, don't do this. Even though you'll really want to:
It's OK if Simon Jr. doesn't find the mobile over his crib equally entertaining:
And when you hear Simon Jr. hit a high C that's actually on key, this is a totally appropriate response:
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