Let's be honest, Chan. You're just so damn easy to love. And we know your wife Jenna wouldn't disagree.
You're the perfect male specimen. Good looks. Charisma to spare. The heart of a saint. Sexiest man alive. You've even managed to turn your stripper past into a strength rather than a dealbreaker!
We can't contain our love for you anymore. You've stolen our hearts, and these are the reasons why ...
You're so good at giving compliments ...
And making us believe that—in some universe—we have a chance with you:
You're incredibly down-to-earth. We swoon at your silly side:
A guy this hot who makes you laugh, too? #BetterThanWinningTheLottery
Channing, we love you because we know you'd greet us like this every time we walk through the door:
And for these six reasons right here:
Baby, you know what it does to us when you lick your lips!
And when you do this. So. Very. Well.
A pole in our bedroom? Not a problem, baby:
We can just imagine the kind of giver you are ... in bed.
But eff this cat for getting to be that close to your sexy chest.
In the eternal words of Whitney, "Where do broken hearts go?" You'd never learn the answer:
Chan, if you won't reciprocate our love, the only thing we can do is let you go. It's not you. It's us.
We just want the best for you—a lifetime of happiness and never-ending love. Do you wish us the same?
Maybe someday, buddy. Maybe someday.
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