The "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" author on having it all, inspiring romance, and more.
Earlier this week, we posted an interview with relationship expert John Gray, of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus fame, whose newest book, Work with Me: The 8 Blind Spots Between Men and Women in Business, examines how men and women could better understand each other in the workplace—and how that could cause less stress in the home. You can read the full interview here, or, if you're short on time, you can catch the juicy highlights here—and tell us whether you agree or disagree with his viewpoints in the comments.
1. On that ubiquitous "can women have it all?" question: "You can 'have it all.' But you can't do it all—you have to learn to delegate. And you can't have it all at the same time. There are stages of life. There's times, for example, when you want to devote more time to your children and you don't have a career. Women should follow their conscience as to what makes them feel good. And if it doesn't feel good to spend less time with your children, then you should spend more time with your children, and that should be your priority."
2. On lowering women's stress: "There's research showing that when women do nurturing activities, that actually lowers their stress level, but only if they're not rushed. When women are doing nurturing activities, it releases a hormone called oxytocin, which lowers stress. It doesn't lower stress in men. That's why we want to create a more nurturing environment in the workplace too—because it lowers women's stress."
3. On asking for help from men: "What I see over and over again when helping women in their personal relationships is that women are not adept at asking for help from their partner in a way that will motivate their partner to help. And already the women who need to hear this the most are the ones going, 'Why should I have to ask?' That's the first mistake you make. That's a source of resentment which is your responsibility to overcome, by realizing that you're asking men to do something that men for thousands of years have never done, and if you're wanting to motivate a man to make any change, you have to approach him from the point of view that he's not wrong." Keep reading...
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