When I fell in love with a Parisian earlier this spring after living in Paris for three months, geography all of a sudden became a major issue. As any diehard New Yorker, I am in love with the city in which I live and always assumed it would be the place where I would grow old and die. I knew I'd leave it often to travel, but I always knew I'd return. Then I met Olivier.
What followed after I returned to New York City was the struggle of deciding what I wanted more: New York City or Olivier. As a divorced man with a four-year-old daughter, he does not have the luxury of up and leaving his city; so if this, if we, were going to make it work, I would have to be the one to move.
Olivier, knowing full well my love for this city, knew that he was competing against something to which he could possibly lose, but he decided to make the gamble with his suggestion I move to Paris. After much thought and endless reassurance from friends that "New York will always be here," I decided that yes, I could make the move to Paris. However, I wanted something, actually many things, in exchange for my sacrifice.
When I first told Olivier that should I move to Paris, I would like a contract stating that we'd have sex 5-6 times a day, it was a joke. But then I really thought about it. Why shouldn't I make demands on which we'd both have to agree? I'm about to give up my life in New York City for him; I deserve to get some specifics in return.
From how many times a day we'll have sex, to picking up the New York Times for me every Sunday, to a guaranteed trip to Morocco, to him doing all the cooking — these are just a few things that will be going in our contract. It may seem absurd, and at first even I acknowledged it was, (although I must admit, I thought it very creative), then I realized I was not alone. Sadly, for my creative ego, my idea was not so novel — relationship contracts are currently all the rage.
As the DailyMail explains, "The so-called 'lifestyle clauses' can include how often the couple is intimate, how they spend their leisure time and spell out what defines cheating, among other things." Yes, that's right, people besides my pervy self are actually laying down the law as to how often they want to get laid a week.
At first glance, it may seem unromantic, but when you really think about it, a lifestyle clause, whether or not you're married, does provide a structure for the relationship. It's also not very different from a pre-nup that stipulates how the two parties will fair at the end of a marriage. Sometimes even the greatest romances need guidelines to which the couple must abide, as well as repercussions should someone fail to deliver. Keep reading ...
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