Attraction is not being typical, and to be typical and expect gravely different results is not realistic.
Like any other beautiful bird who flaps its feathers to gain the attention of the most suitable mate, you must also separate yourself from what the average woman does on a daily basis so that you stand out when it comes to attracting the MOYD. Many would say they are not in competition with the next woman, but with the pickings being slim, I would beg to differ. But you are right. It is not necessarily a competition, but a stab at individuality that could attract that special MOYD. Remember this morning when you went to your closet and spent 30 minutes trying to figure out what you were going to wear today--which colors, which shoes? If it did not matter, you certainly would not have spent that time, and you might as well buy uniforms and wear the same outfit every day. Ironically, then you would actually be different, but maybe not in the most positive, communal sense. So stop fooling yourself. Being different does matter and does separate you, and it certainly will attract potential men of your dreams. If you agree, keep reading.
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More from YourTango: The Art of Listening to the Man of Your Dreams (James 1:19)
Do you really think the Man of Your Dreams is that dumb, and women are that smart, that we just have no clue what your normal patterns are? Or that we do not record in our minds what hundreds of women have said in response to basic questions? How many times have we heard the same boring responses? If you want different results or to be treated differently, act differently. Listen and use your intuition and five senses, as opposed to basing all your answers on fear or programmed responses. Yes, we understand that the average man may not have a clue, nor will he admit to you that he has heard that line a thousand times before, but in the back of his mind he is thinking just that. The problem is, most men will never tell you this because their immediate objective is to capture the prize. Once it has been captured and secured, then they start to analyze and ask questions. “Who are you?” Most men chase, capture, then ask real questions after the fact. This is our problem, which later becomes your problem. The best way to prevent this is to recognize your biggest fears and frustrations in meeting new men and overcome them with knowledge, and by actually talking and listening to the candidate. Yes, due to time constraints, you could choose the third option, not to speak at all, but please be respectful in your dismissal.
Programmed responses automatically signal to the MOYD that you are not using the gifts inside you, and that you are cheating yourself and him in the process. Because of your fears and programming, you will be less likely to recognize him or any other MOYD unless he fits into a certain preordained mold. Even if he had on a t-shirt with word “MOYD” printed on it, you still would not be able to see him because you are not using your intuition. This behavior is very typical when a woman meets a man. Remember, the fears you project come looking for you, but if you project positive energy and love and expect something good to happen, then those things will come instead. Most women are driven by fear and then wonder why they're single. Be different; get over your fears by facing them. Next time that guy goes out of his way to say hello, make time. You are single! Be different than all the rest!