By now you've heard that the Titanic II, an exact replica of the doomed 1912 ocean liner is due to set sail in 2016. Cue the Titanic-aficionado excitement!
We guarantee there'll be many re-watchings of James Cameron's Titanic in the lead up to the Titanic II's voyage; after all, the movie is one of the biggest and most popular movies of the last 20 years. People either love to love it or love to hate it (we won't even get into Celine Dion's earworm theme song, "My Heart Will Go On") but the film still has some lingering issues even us Titanic-lovers can't let go.
Here are 9 things we'd like to see if the fictional Jack and Rose were on the Titanic voyage this time around.
1. More Irish Music. More Dancing.
The scene in the third class steerage area with the smoking and the drinking and the ridiculously cute improvised Irish dancing is one of the best parts of the movie. More of that, please! And this time around, explain what the hell is the deal with Rose's weird, painful-looking toe stand everyone seems so impressed by.
2. Cool It With The Speed, Mr. Ismay
Remember the mustachioed guy who tells the kindly old captain to increase the ship's speed so it can make headlines when it gets to New York? Not a good call. Not a good call at all. Captain Smith should stand up to him and not make Titanic go any faster. That wouldn't leave out the iceberg, of course, but a good story needs some tragedy.
3. Cal Should Die
I hate to wish ill on any man, but if he's a straight-up abusive fictional dick in a movie (played by Billy Zane), I can't really say I'll lose any sleep over it. The fact that Cal steals his way into a lifeboat (WOMEN AND CHILDREN ONLY, PLEASE!) and survives has always really, really aggravated me. He's a bad man. It's a sinking ship. He should get his comeuppance.
4. Jack, Wash Your Hair
I imagine hygiene isn't the top priority in the life of a starving artist who won his ticket on Titanic in a poker game. But Jack, does your hair have to be so dang greasy during the entire movie? Leo's lank hair is gross and it almost detracts from his blinding golden-boy hotness (Note I said almost). But luckily, modern times provide ample opportunities for even Jack Dawson, the man who makes his way on "tramp steamers and such" to shampoo, rinse and repeat. Keep Reading ...
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