Photo: Garrett Aitken | nortonrsx | Getty Images / Minerva Studio | Canva
Is a positive relationship his key to success?
By Sam H. Escobar — Last updated on Oct 13, 2023
When it comes to dating and men, people often overlook how males are affected by a great relationship. It's easy to point out the negatives that come from a bad one because those are often more noticeable.
Plus, men have long been stereotyped as unwilling to commit, whereas women are the opposite comparatively. But men are just as able to benefit from a positive relationship as women are.
So how do men benefit from good relationships?
According to life purpose coach and licensed mental health counselor Teresa Maples, it takes support, time, and appreciation, among other things, to build a solid foundation and be great together.
"A relationship is a place that is sacred and should be cherished rather than taken for granted. Both people need to be all in. Growth and deepening intimacy (non-sexual and sexual intimacy) need to be valued by both people ... Taking things slow gives a space for the couple to get to know each other emotionally. Men and some women think about the act of sex a lot, and it becomes a goal. What they don't know is that they are missing a huge part of a valuable part of the relationship, the emotional bond with each other."
When men are able to be themselves after truly getting to know someone, it can be incredibly freeing.
Just as women are often pressured to behave in certain ways in front of others, men are expected to act "like men," as though there's only one way to achieve that role.
I once dated a guy who never cried in front of anyone; he was funny in response to things that troubled him and deflected any attempts at dealing with his issues. Eventually, though, after a great deal of time and trust was built, he was able to tell me his personal feelings and, sometime later, let his emotions out regarding something very difficult that occurred in his life.
It wasn't easy, but it was definitely worth it to be able to have that bond and know that he was more able to access and release his feelings because of it.
Of course, it's also important to make sure you are able to grow together rather than simply relying on your partner for everything.
"Both genders look to others to complete them," says Maples. "People get stuck in the inevitable anger cycles over unmet needs and don't know how to get out of them. When both people are taking care of their own emotional baggage then they are free to be open, caring, and authentic with each other."
When men are able to be more open and authentic, that also results in greater confidence.
This added self-esteem can, in turn, help them feel better about their ambitions. When he feels supported, he's more willing to take risks and go after his goals.
Building and maintaining a healthy, strong relationship is by no means easy, but it's absolutely wonderful when one is achieved. It's important to ensure that each party is getting not only what they need, but also willing to help the other in ways that will benefit them.
More for You:
Sam H. Escobar is the Deputy Director at Allure Magazine.