Solo seemed supreme until a surprise book find led to Alex and Aggie's soulmate inspiration
The way that Alex and Aggie evolved into a union is one of the key reasons behind why I enjoy chronicling their CaughtMyFish.com story. Love isn't just for the movies because Alex and Aggie have proven it to be an every day occurrence. Men really do fall head over heels themselves over a woman. Women do truly feel that a man has come along to change their life for the better and forever. Between POF.com, Alex and Aggie, and Kathryn Alice's "Love Will Find You" book, there has been a domino effect akin to an avalanche of soulmate partnerships all around me instead of just overly independent singles.
No two couples function the same same but the essence of love and respect carries on in different forms. Interestingly enough for me, Alex and Aggie were the spark for a series of other mental equivalents in partnership that did not exist in my life before. Since Spring 2012 I've seen a succession of one happy couple after another. Each pair who demonstrate to me the elements of love and respect which Alex and Aggie do. Something must have happened when I stumbled upon "Love Will Find You" by Kathryn Alice because every pair bond who has entered my life since has proved her concept of soulmate love right.
"A mental equivalent is a template. The mental equivalent that attracts a soulmate is a belief in one's self as attractive and worthy of love coupled with a faith that there is the right person earmarked for you. This template and its accompanying energy simply cannot be denied. Love MUST happen with the right mental equivalent" (Quote from Kathryn Alice)
Kathryn has lectured and written extensively about how you can relax when your soulmate shows up. One of the reasons that she says this is because a key concept in her book is that nothing can scare your soulmate away. Not even the beauty marks on your face that make you self-conscious or the less than perfect posture you are convinced everyone else notices and thinks badly of. Kathryn says that these very things about you that cause insecure anxiety are the features your soulmate adores. Paradoxical but true.
Part of the reason why CaughtMyFish.com felt worthy of being documented in a series for me was the effect it had on my life. When I pondered the impact of how Alex and Aggie helped create a positive mental equivalent for me regarding coupledom, it felt that a duplicate impact could be had by others who would read the series. At first it began as a series of academic essays for a class on Imago Relationship Theory but quickly evolved into something much different. Since the biggest change in my belief system since finding Kathryn's book and Alex and Aggie is how 'entrained' my cognitive association of commitment and under age 40 is. After a decade of the reality show The Bachelor dominating pop culture combined with movies of similar plot lines, it's easy to conclude that men are commitment phobic creatures whose consciousness is chronically stuck at the frat house. Images that reinforce that belief are soaked in the media making it seem like a cold hard fact. Fact is, it's not, but if you focus on it then there is a good chance that you will train your subconscious to only notice people, places, and things that are consistent with that belief. Thus, you are reinforcing your belief even though contrary evidence is equally available or quite frankly, in abundance.
So who were the other examples that followed after Alex and Aggie? There is the engaged couple who had been childhood sweethearts that broke up in a rather dramatic way. Basically the guy told the girl to leave him alone and never talk to him again because he wanted to live a life without her. Famous last words it seemed because four years later the same guy came to the conclusion that she was the best thing that ever happened to him. In the words of the song "Working My Way Back to You Babe" that is exactly what he did. Now he tells me that they have several volumes of CDs to store their own personal playlist of songs that they have dedicated to one another. Here is where another one of Kathryn's concepts are proven true. Not only does your soulmate not scare easy but a real soulmate always come back. They will come back without any coercion and by surprise.
Next example is a married couple who met at a nightclub in Buenos Aires. The husband is very dedicated to his wife and children and its a partnership built on cooperation, commitment, and daily acts of kindness. Funny but true: when he first saw his wife at the bar on that fateful night in Argentina he knew instantly he was going to marry her. She was there with her girlfriends. He was there with his girlfriend. Six weeks later they were married albeit one very confused ex-girlfriend was a casualty of Cupid's Arrow that evening.
Kathryn also teaches the concept that your soulmate cannot see past you and only has eyes for you. This describes Alex to a tee in his utter adoration of his Aggie. Once upon a time I would think a man like Alex was a rare breed. Just like I thought Hugh Jackman was cut from a different cloth than most men for his dedication to his wife. The character Hugh Jackman played in "The Fountain" seems to be similar to his real life adoration toward his spouse and family. It used to seem like a rare circumstance. Now, it's an everyday occurrence to see these kind of relationships because I'm surrounded by men in their 20's and 30's who treat their women like a Goddess they worship. However, I want to make a distinction that adoration of a significant other is NOT codependency or worse, addiction to a person. Simply speaking these men treat their ladies like the prize of their lives.
I have seen one man go all all out to create an elaborate and heart warming birthday surprise for his girlfriend right before telling her he had planned a surprise trip for them to Hawaii. He even secretly arranged with his girlfriend's co-worker to videotape the surprise so he could post have it as a momento. Then there is the man who patiently went against his nature to win over his girlfriend when three other men were also seriously pursuing her. His usual modus operendi was to come on strong and "brand" the woman before she made her choice. Intuition told him to give her the freedom to choose, make the most of each date, and trust. She ended up picking him because she felt no pressure when they were out compared to the other guys.
There are endless stories that I seem to witness every day that I can't not believe that love will find you in some cosmic way. I am not New Agey but I do think differently now that a collection of positive mental equivalents in relationships have occurred around me. How could I have held on to the opposite set of beliefs when too many real-life examples of commitment and respect in couplehood have entered my life in the last six months? The ambivalence that once dominated my thoughts for years has been released and replaced as Kathryn would say.
What has set these people apart, especially Alex and Aggie, is that they go all out without expectation in little and big ways every day, for one purpose: to make the other person happy. Simple as that. I really did think that Alex was part of an "outlier" category of men because he didn't give to Aggie to get. His gestures were free from agenda and he wasn't keeping score or expecting Aggie to respond a certain way by a particular time. Then when I noticed all the other men at work were the same it no longer seemed to be so hard to associate partnership and commitment with the male gender of a certain age group.
Overall, I had a fantastic start with Alex and Aggie as my mental equivalent inspiration. So much so that my mind just started looking for more of the same because it was what I was focusing on. The more I observed the more I got confirmation that it was easy to find and keep a certain quality of relationship. As the objective observer, the data I collect only becomes more evidence of how easy and effortless it is to attract a soulmate and sustain a lifelong happy connection with them. Thanks Alex and Aggie, POF.com, and CaughtMyFish.com. You were the first to teach by example but I'm glad that you two are not the last.
Confession: Before that day I found Kathryn Alice's book by accident (it was misfiled in the cooking section) I was 100% convinced that being part of a "committed couple" meant being locked up in a prison for life.
Lesson: Uninstall the bad, free up memory space, install the good, when it comes to your mind not your hard drive!