Old News, New Research: Men Really Do Want To Marry Their Moms

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bride, groom
A new study lends credence to one of our ickiest fears. Thanks, researchers in Finland!

We all know that men are visual creatures: they're suckers for long legs, ample curves, a great smile...mom's cheekbones?! According to a new study out of Finland, men are more likely to marry women who resemble their moms. Researchers compared photos of 70 married couples’ parents and significant others to come to this conclusion — and it's taken me just under 30 seconds to become totally creeped out by the news.

This isn’t the first time we’ve heard that boys are looking for mom-replacements, whether it’s a woman who cooks like mom, cleans like mom or micromanages like mom. Who knew they also wanted someone who literally looks like mom too? For one, it’s a bit too Oedipal for my taste. Who wants to get into bed with a younger version of their parent? I guess we can’t fight our urges or biological tendencies, but...really? According to biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, the same does not hold true for women; we're less likely to marry men who look like our dads. So, that's a relief. 

Imagine I were to meet my boyfriend’s mom and she looked just like me; how uncomfortable would that be for both parties? Then, there would be the aftermath: it would sink in that he probably views me more as a caretaker than an object of sexual attraction. Which begs the question: when men are finally ready to settle down, do they switch gears? Is it more about nurturing and less about partnership...or are they two sides of the same token? Sounds like the old Madonna-whore syndrome is alive and well.

The only thing that makes me feel somewhat okay about this study is that it was conducted in Finland. I mean this in all sincerity: Finland doesn't have the ethnically diversity of a place like the U.S. If the same research were conducted here, I wonder if the results would be different. Let's hope they never do such research, because quite frankly I'm afraid to know. It means I might have do get a dye job and some colored contacts, among other things, and I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment

What do you think of this study: Fine or frightening?

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