It's easy to buy a sexual lubricant. Different varieties are available at drugstores, in specialty shops, or online, if you're the shy type. But what's not always as easy? Introducing lube to your guy. Some women feel embarrassed to mention the slippery stuff, or lack thereof, in the heat of the moment.
They shouldn't be. Vaginal dryness doesn't necessarily mean you're not turned on. It can be caused by normal hormonal changes during a woman's menstrual cycle. It's a common side effect of medication, from chemotherapy to asthma inhalers to over-the-counter antihistamines. The chemicals in your shower gel, perfume, or the detergent used to wash your skivvies might even be to blame.
"I think that there can be a stigma when a woman wants to introduce lube into the relationship," says Suzanne Kongkeo, Sr. Sales & Marketing Manager at Astroglide. "Sometimes she thinks a) there's something wrong with her medically, or b) that her partner's not getting her worked up, and she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings."
Uncomfortable sex is a shared problem, but it's one that can be solved. Bottom line: There's nothing wrong with a little slide and glide. In fact, it usually feels very right. But don't take our word for it. We asked a few real guys what they’d think about using lube, specifically if their female partner was the one who suggested it. Their answers were unanimously positive.
Troy, 31, of Los Angeles is pro-lube, because he’s pro-communication. "Being able to tell your partner what you like and want in the bedroom is a sign of maturity and trust. Besides, when a woman asks, 'Can we use lube?' what she really means is, 'I'm really into having good sex.'" Who wouldn't want that?
If a guy's offended that you want to add something extra to sexy time, he's probably immature, says Benjamin, 29, of Washington, D.C. "Any guy who's insulted that a woman wants to use lube is coming from a place of insecurity and ignorance. Lube makes something good even better. Lots of couples use it for foreplay, whether they 'need to' or not." Benjamin even admits that some of his best sexual experiences—the longest-lasting, the most fun—involved a slick helping of lube. He didn't recall who brought it up first.
Sex isn't about one person, and neither is lube. Both partners benefit. "You show me a guy who's weirded out by lube," jokes Andy, 27, of New York City, "And I'll show you a guy who's... never used lube." He's got a point.
Do you think there's a stigma about using lube? Would you let it keep you from having better sex?
Brought to you in partnership with Astroglide.
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