Rather than honestly talking to me about sex when I was younger, my mother just told me, "If you ever have sex before you're married, I'm going to send you to a convent." She would never tell me why, and always got mad when I asked her, "If premarital sex is so bad, why was I born five months after your wedding?" Whoops. Yeah, I was a brat.
Maybe she wouldn't have been so against it if she knew that more and more studies are finding that sex before marriage can be healthy. According to Jill Filipovic in a recent column for The Guardian, "In terms of happiness, sex is better than money, and having sex once a week instead of once a month is the 'happiness equivalent' of an extra $50,000 a year. People with active sex lives live longer. Sex releases stress, boosts immunities, helps you sleep and is heart-healthy."
Now this isn't to say everyone should start having sex at an early age. But once you're comfortable with sex and know about safe sex (I don't want to be watching 16 and Pregnant, Season 54), you shouldn't have to wait until your wedding day. I feel like everywhere I turn, magazines and websites are telling me to eat kale because it's good for me, but I hate kale. I like sex, and if that's good for me too, why don't more people learn about the benefits of premarital sex instead of about bitter, leafy greens?
Some women choose to wait until marriage, which is their decision to make, but other women shouldn't have to feel guilty about wanting to do the deed before saying "I do." For some, remaining "pure" has its moral benefits, but I would rather live longer than be on some abstract moral high ground. Also, who wants to have a Charlotte from Sex and the City situation? She waited to have sex with Trey until they were married, and then their sex life sucked and ultimately led to their divorce. (Who could forget the copy of Juggs he secretly looked at in the bathroom?)
Nobody should have to wait until their married to figure out that their partner has major issues with sex. If Charlotte and Trey had addressed the issue beforehand, she could have avoided stressing out about the divorce and the in-laws she hated — plus, she'd be having sex with a new guy!
More juicy content from YourTango: