Why Jennifer Aniston Should Totally Hook Up With Robert Pattinson

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Why Jennifer Aniston Should Totally Hook Up With Robert Pattinson
Not only would their offspring have the most piercing blue eyes ever ...

So, Perez Hilton is reporting that Star Magazine is reporting that there may be trouble in paradise for lovebirds Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux ... which is exactly what I've been hoping would happen. Not because I'm a scrooge who doesn't believe in true love (blah, blah), but because I just really want Jen to hook up with the recently scorned vampthrob, Robert Pattinson.

Let's be clear about a few things: first, I don't love Twilight. Frankly, I've never seen any of the movies or read any of the books. Second, I don't hate Justin Theroux. Actually, I've kind of loved him since his days as the sexy neighbor boy on Six Feet Under. Third — controversial as it may be — I don't hate Kristen Stewart, either. I can actually kind of relate to her and her so-called "momentary indiscretion."

 

Mostly I just love Jen because, well, who doesn't, and I think Rob is pretty effing hot ... don't you? Okay, fine, maybe there's a little more to it than that. Maybe I also still remember how Jen's ex-husband publicly ditched her for a heroin-chic, brother-kissing ex of Billy Bob's. And maybe I also still remember all those lucky dogs (and by dogs, I mean men) who went through very public divorces only to end up with some hottie half their age (ahem, Kelsey Grammar and Alec Baldwin). Alec Baldwin Marries Yoga Instructor In New York City

So, yeah, maybe I'd find a little bit of vicarious satisfaction in Jennifer Aniston doing the same thing because she's a woman, and it would feel, I dunno, somehow vindicating. Is that so wrong?

The bottom line here is that, as I stated upfront, Perez Hilton is reporting that Star Magazine is reporting that there may be trouble in paradise for Jen and Justin, which obviously means that there is probably no trouble in paradise whatsoever, which, in turn means that my fantasy hookup is far from imminent. Still, a girl can dream.

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