A he said/she said on the right time to talk about money in a relationship.
Although we generally do everything in our power to avoid talking about it, money really does play a crucial role in relationships. Whether you care a whole lot about money or not, the amount of green you and your partner have in your bank accounts can greatly influence your love life.
We think we live in an era where "gold digging" is taboo and relationships are based on so much more than just money. But is that true? How do our incomes factor into the modern day dating scene? And, when is the right time to talk about money in a relationship? Obviously sharing salaries on a first date doesn't fly, and every relationship expert will tell you that leaving the "money talk" till after you've walked down the aisle is too late.
We asked YourTango contributor Amanda Green and YourTango's Tomfoolery blogger, Tom Miller—two savvy, urban daters—to sound in on the role of money in their relationships and when it makes sense to talk green. Here's what they had to say:
I'm a feminist, but a man can buy me a drink. In fact, he can buy me dinner.
I've been financially independent since I graduated college, and I can confidently say that I'm pretty good with money. I'm not a financial guru, but I don't have any debt outside of student loans. I have well over a year's worth of rent saved up. Beyond a few expensive habits—Frye boots, concerts, and well, living in NYC—I'm pretty frugal.
But there's another reason I've been able to save as much as I have: I've dated some very generous guys. They never paid my rent or daily living expenses, but when we went out, they'd treat me the majority of the time. That makes a huge difference. I know all those expenses add up, especially because I was single for most of the last few years.
I know I've been fortunate to date men who are willing and able to spend money on me. Chivalry may be endangered, but it's not dead. And it's still kicking, because it benefits both parties. My wallet's reaping the rewards of comped meals and movies; and the guys I've dated enjoy feeling like they've provided for me. And no, I've never gone out with someone who later said I owed him sexual favors or housecleaning or anything like that. Keep reading...
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