To know thy worth


A friend of mine had come to me seeking for advice about a girl he had been seeing for six months. Now he had done everything right with this girl. He had taken her on dates to restaurants, concerts, had flowers delivered to her work, you name it he had done it to show his affection for her. There was a ten year age gap between the pair. He was ten years older than her and she had just dumped by her ex boyfriend. Red flags were given to him all over the place. Such as not having sex, her comments about sex, which included that she didn't like having sex with anyone besides her ex and that she was damaged goods. Which of course meant she was not over her ex. I explained to him that she was not over her ex and he had given her ample enough time to express her feelings for him and it was time to cut this girl off. 

I had him remove her from his phone, remove her from his facebook, remove anything from his house that gave him any memory of this girl. I also had him block her phone number from his phone. I knew once he stopped communciation with her that she would wonder why and would try to contact him. She is the ultimate attention seeker. She used him to get the attention she needed for low self esteem. She had my friend on the side while her ex thought about whether or not he wanted her back. So either way in her mind if her ex didn't come back she still had a guy. Of course she wouldn't of been happy with my friend and would of continued to use him until a new guy she had actual feelings for came around, but he was someone who gave her things and gave her attention so he was good enough for the time being. 

Luckily, for my friend he has moved on and he is happier now that he has. He can now look at that situation and know in the future to not let that happen again. He is also looking for someone more around his age and someone looking for what he wants instead of someone who is just playing games. 

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Christy Goldstein

Relationship Coach

Christy Goldstein

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Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: CLC, CPC, CRC
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Sexuality
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