Marriage & Birth Control: What's Right For Your Relationship?

Marriage & Birth Control: What's Right For Your Relationship?

Marriage & Birth Control: What's Right For Your Relationship?

calendar and the pill
Deciding when to have a family is a big deal, so should you choose birth control for your marriage?

So, you found the perfect guy, you settled down and you married him. Now what? Then comes a baby in a baby carriage, right?

Well, only if you've had a long talk with your partner and agreed that kids are the next step for your relationship.

Marriage isn't a job, but it sure can be hard work. And trying to compromise with your partner about something as life-changing as when to have kids can be one of the hardest decisions you will have to make. 

Before my husband and I got married, we sat down and had a pretty long discussion about our future together: when we wanted to get married and when we planned to have a family. After graduating from college, we both still felt like kids ourselves. How were we going to raise one? We decided that we wanted to wait a while before trying for children. We also wanted to be able to enjoy some time together, just the two of us.

Because let's face it, having a baby changes everything.

You're up all night at first, then, before you know it, you're running around chasing your little one, trying to get him to eat. There's the doctor visits, and there's definitely no more private trips to the bathroom... Oh, and news flash, babies are expensive! 

My husband and I asked ourselves a few questions when the baby subject came up: Can we really afford a child right now? Do we have a good support network? Are we ready for a lifestyle change? We both answered a resounding "no" to all three questions. And so, we decided that we would use birth control to help plan our family until we felt ready.

That being said, as Christians, my husband and I both believe that our Heavenly Father has everything in control, and if His plan is to add a baby into the mix, then we would understand. We would start our family on His time. Control is something we like to think we have down, but the Bible explains that God really does have everything in control: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). God is in control, but we'll still make plans unless he has other ones. We decided that using preventative contraception would help us stick to those plans. 

Birth control has been in the news a lot lately. Whether to use it, whether the government should provide it, whether it violates the beliefs of certain Christians, like those in the Catholic Church. Here's what we believe: We're Christians, but we are not anti-birth control. My husband and I feel that the use of birth control as part of our caring, monogamous sexual relationship is a way to prevent expensive, life-altering, not-ready-quite-yet, unplanned pregnancies. And in our eyes, that's a good thing. But it's not always easy.

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