Why You Should Stop Feeling Entitled To Romantic Love

heart in sand
Buzz, Love

One writer realizes trusting God doesn't mean a man will fall from the sky at the appointed time.

I've been instinctually shy for as long as I can remember. In a big room with lots of people, you will find me gravitating toward the corner. Large groups freak me out. Speaking in front of a crowd, or even a handful of nice folks, is pretty much my biggest fear. My palms start getting sweaty. I tend to nervously tap my foot a lot. The words begin to float around in my head, but refuse to make full sentences... Ask A Dude: How Do I Handle a Shy Guy?

I've gotten better about my shyness as I've gotten older, but I still have to consciously force myself to smile and act like I'm not in pain, to stop being so socially awkward and start talking to the new people I meet on a day-to-day basis. Once I've gotten to know a person fairly well, life is good again. Conversation flows easily. But with relative strangers, it is a constant challenge. And there is one situation where I always seem to revert back to old habits:

Whenever I meet a guy I am attracted to. Shocking, right?

Several days ago, I found myself in a big room, with a large group of individuals—when a good-looking guy showed up. I was doing fine, until this minor detail derailed my mental clarity. I choked on the air, and my heart slammed into my ribcage. I averted my eyes out of some latent, irrational fear that he might actually talk to me. I reminded myself that would not be the worst thing in the whole world. It took me about ten seconds to get myself together and begin to act like a normal human being again. Crisis diverted? I wish. My Strict Christian Faith Is The Reason I Can't Find A Man

It's not that this is a new experience for me, but this particular day was different. Normally, I would just give in to my shyness and pretend that I didn't notice an attractive guy was a little more than an arm's length away. Act aloof and disconnected. Which I did, initially. But this day something snapped inside me: I actually had the urge to say something to him. 

I didn't know how I'd do it exactly. I would work out the details of my conversational technique once I'd gotten a "hello" out. I was just drawn to him—enough to completely throw out my natural tendencies for a moment. But only for a moment.

I'd wanted to say something. But I didn't. For some reason, I couldn't cross the gap between us. My mouth wouldn't open, and I never got that "hello" out. And pretty soon, the moment disappeared, he was gone, and I was disappointed. I thought the disappointment would pass, but it hasn't. It's grown worse; bad enough that I'm still thinking about it days later. 10 Easy Steps to Become Irresistibly Approachable to the Opposite Sex

It's not even that I thought a "hello" wouldn't be well-received. Watching his body language, he seemed open. His face was kind, and his demeanor friendly. So what held me back in those few seconds where I felt uncharacteristically ready to abandon my inherent shyness? At first, I couldn't figure it out. But I think I finally know what it was:


Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
It seems like you can't do anything right.