My husband and I fell hard and fast for each other—it was a whirlwind romance that resulted quickly in marriage. And in the beginning, it was bliss. For a while, we both thought we might be exempt from that silly old saying that "marriage is hard work." (Really? Puh-lease.)
Well, we just celebrated our two-year anniversary, and I'm here to tell you this: Marriage is indeed hard work. Turns out, we were not the exception. The glow wears off a bit after that initial rush of feelings. You have to work through... real problems. And ultimately, I found out marriage often requires bending your natural tendencies to be what your partner deserves. I learned this lesson the hard way. Couple Celebrates 81st Anniversary, Shares Tips
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One day, it struck me that my husband felt a little distant. We weren't connecting like we should have been, and so I asked him what was wrong. You see, unlike me, my husband isn't really one to complain, but I could just tell there was something on his mind—and my intuition hinted that it was probably something I did (or didn't do).
"Is there something bothering you lately, babe?" I asked. "You feel so distant."
He was hesitant to answer at first, but once I got him talking, the floodgates opened. "Sometimes I feel like you don't honor me, Jenni," he admitted. "You don't build me up and make me feel like a man. Sometimes, I feel like all you ever do is criticize and correct me, and you even do it in front of people. It's belittling." 5 Ways To Honor Yourself This Year
There it was. It was a punch in the gut. His words hit me even harder, because I wasn't even aware I was hurting him. Am I really not honoring my husband? I thought. The answer was tough: Sometimes, I don't. It was such a painful truth, and it prompted me to question what exactly it means to honor a husband.
In today's world, things are much different than they were a century or two ago. Women are still very much in a state of figuring out where and how they fit into a once male-dominated society. Relationships are no different. The tides of change are turning, and often the dynamic between a husband and wife suffers for it. Women want guys to "be the man," but we don't want our voices to be silenced, either. 5 Courtship Rules Modern Daters Can Use
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I don't consider myself a feminist, but I've been described with words like "blunt," "independent," "feisty" and "man-eater." (Oops. Someone should have warned my husband.) I had to ask: Can I be all of those things and still honor him? It's just my personality, after all, and in today's world a woman has the luxury of being who she is. Right?
The answer is both yes and no. For example, I have a tendency to argue... about everything. Maybe it's the journalist in me, but if I hear a statement that rings untrue, I feel an innate need to call the speaker out on it. My husband gets the brunt of this. Problem is, my "calling out" is often disrespectful, and when done in public, shines a less than flattering light on him. Besides that, I can also be a nag and a nit-picker. Traits us girls seem to have down to a science, no?