This week on the Ask YourTango forum, katgut writes, "My boyfriend HATES [my] little [terrier]. He gets upset because I refuse to leave the dog at home on the weekends when we go out during the day. It seems unfair to [me] because I work on weekdays and my dog is at home by himself, so I want to spend time with him on the weekends. Why can't my boyfriend understand this[?] He's not a dog hater, but he just won't accept that my dog is part of the family. Is this a sign of future problems? Will he be a [lousy] father to our children?"
Two years into our marriage, my husband and I got a dog. That dog ruined two chairs, four rugs and untold number of blankets and almost wrecked my marriage. How could a 10lb miniature dachshund named Harriet wreck so much havoc? Well, Harriet hated my husband. She bit him. She growled at him. Dave didn't feel comfortable alone with her in the house. We tried pills, training, everything. Nothing worked. In the end, I had to choose between the dog and the man. The choice was simple, I kept the man.How A Dog Almost Ruined My Marriage
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I wrote about this decision and recieved a lot of criticism. Here are some of the comments people had: If you can't love a pet, how can you take care of a child? If your kid bites you will you just give it up?
But, two years after our run-in with our dog, my husband have a child and Dave is hands-down the best parent in the house. I clearly made the right choice. Consequently, I think all that advice about how dogs prepare you for children is garbage. But what dogs can do is reveal your relational weaknesses.
Pehaps your boyfriend resents the dog because he wants to spend time with you, but you want to spend time with the dog. Even parents need a break from their kids to reconnect. That's why God invented babysitters. Do you and your boyfriend have time together without the dog? Perhaps if you make an effort to spend time with your boyfriend without your dog around, your boyfriend would make peace with your pooch. But, of course, if you value your dog over your man, maybe you aren't with the right man.The right man should rank above your dog anyday.
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What do you think? Is it normal for your partner to hate your pet? Give katgut some advice!
Do you eat hair? Does your partner have a special "pass the salt" song? Each week, YourTango will feature, someone, something or some habit from a relationship and asks the question: Is this normal? Feel free to weigh in with your comments or send us an email: firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll feature your relationship and dating foibles on our site. (Don't worry. You can be anonymous and so can your partner.)