Need a coach for the whole wedding process, grooms? This book could be your BFF.
Traditionally, we think of a wedding as the bride's day. It's all about her. (She has, after all, probably been dreaming of this day since age six.) It's about the dress, the entrance, the table settings she chose and the reception she coordinated. Amidst all that, we nearly forget the bride is only half of the equation. Um, hello? It's the groom's day, too.
It's sort of a running joke: After the proposal, which relies entirely on the dude, the bride-to-be will take it from there. And guys, you're supposed to just go with it. Remember that episode of Friends? The one where Chandler asks Monica if she wants him to book the band for the wedding? She tells him, "No, I'll do it. You just stick to your job." The Frisky: Hitched: The Reluctant Groom
"What is your job?" Phoebe asks.
"…Staying out of the way," Chandler says. Like, duh.
I bet there are a lot of grooms out there who have been given the same job description as poor Chandler. Seriously, though. Why?
Enter Be the Man: The Man Registry Guide for Grooms. This new book by the creator of TheManRegistry.com, Chris Easter, serves as an amazing how-to guide for guys about to tie the knot. Guess what, men? You can be fully involved in the wedding-planning process. In fact, you should be fully involved. And if you're feeling at all unsure about what your role is, you need this book. Be A Great Groom: 3 Wedding Planning Tips For Men
From the proposal to the wedding day to the honeymoon, Be the Man has the entire wedding process down. And as an unmarried lady (who has definitely only dreamed about fun stuff like wedding dresses and four-tiered cakes), this book covered topics I've never even thought about before. Legal issues like getting a marriage license, dealing with vendor contracts, insurance, legally changing your last name? Not exactly something we fantasize about, but I'd say all pretty important. There's a whole chapter on this type of thing. The appropriate way to ask for cash as a wedding gift? You can start a registry with your bank, use your parents to get the word out or put a polite note somewhere on your wedding website. Ah, I see...
Some other revelations I'd love guys to take note of?
Book Tip I Love #1: Just like the wedding, you have to plan in advance for the rehearsal dinner. Nine to twelve months prior, you should be checking out locations and finding a caterer.
Book Tip I Love #2: Stop wedding-night pranks from the groomsmen. Oh. My. Gosh. Do people really do that? Answer: Yes. News to me! Addressing pranks before getting hitched is a good idea. (This is one girl who would never find one of those funny.)
Book Tip I Love #3: Wedding-day gifts for the bride? Don't skip them, boys. It's a gesture the bride will remember forever, no matter what you decide to give. Whether it's a piece of jewelry that costs major dough or a priceless present from the heart like writing your own vows, she'll love that you thought of her. (Hint, hint: There are lots of ideas in Be the Man if you're stumped. And they're all good!)
Brides are usually stressed to the max in the months leading up to the big day. Breakdowns, freak-outs and mess-ups have been known to happen. And sometimes when dealing with wedding planning, ladies tend to feel as though they can't slow down to catch their grooms up on what's been happening. That is why I love the premise for this book, and what it can do for guys who are about to get hitched. 10 Movies About Weddings That Are Actually Good
Be the Man talks about exactly what is expected of the groom, traditionally and in the modern world, and can serve as a springboard for communication. You can streamline your talking points so you know exactly what to ask your fiancée about. Instead of asking, "What can I do?" for which she will likely have either a mega-long list of responses that aren't feasible to accomplish, or no idea where to start, guys can ask, "Do you want me to take care of honeymoon? Are we writing our own vows? Should I make up a reception playlist?" Breaking things down, getting specific, taking things one step at a time — perfect idea.
So, Be The Man? A groom's best friend. But the bride might like it just as much. Maybe even a little more.