Is This Normal? He Won't Tell Me What Happened

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High heels
Is it normal to be paranoid when your partner visits a strip club?

Sometimes the weird things that happen in relationships are simple, like when he clips his toenails while watching Dr. Who reruns or when she eats cheese over the sink. And sometimes weirdness in a relationship is learning to walk through those gray areas of togetherness, where few rules exist. Namely, the strip club.

On our Ask YourTango forum, where readers write in for advice from our community and our experts, lkm743 wants to know if it's normal that her boyfriend won't talk about what happened at a strip club. She writes:

"My boyfriend and a group of guys went to St. Louis for a weekend, he said they went to a strip club but there was no contact of any kind. I don't care if there was, I just want him to be honest w me. Should I believe him or are there certain questions I should be asking?"

I sympathize with lkm743's worry. I dated a guy once who loved to go out tomcatting (as my grandma calls it) and frankly I hated it. Probably because I'm of the strip-clubs-objectify-women camp and probably because strip clubs or no, I didn't trust the guy.

Ultimately, I think these issues are about the situation, but more about the relationship. Is worrying about this boy's weekend a lack of trust or an excess of paranoia and ultimately, is it normal for girlfriends to feel this way when their men go out tomcatting? And is it normal for guys to go out to strip clubs or is this behavior out of line? Really, I want to know what you think.

Tell us in the comments or go over to the Ask YourTango forum and give poor lkm743 some advice.

Do you eat hair? Does your partner have a special "pass the salt" song? Each week, YourTango will feature, someone, something or some habit from a relationship and asks the question: Is this normal? Feel free to weigh in with your comments or send us an email: normal@yourtango.com and we'll feature your relationship and dating foibles on our site. (Don't worry. You can be anonymous and so can your partner.)

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