The American Jobs Act promises incentives for employers, but what does it mean for your dating life?
President Obama’s new plan to increase jobs and give the economy a much needed boost, which he revealed in his address to the nation last night, has been met with a generally positive, if sometimes skeptical, reception. If passed, the American Jobs Act promises tax cuts for employees as well as tax incentives for employers who hire new workers or provide wage increases to their existing staff.
But what does it mean for your dating life?!
1. You’ll have more pocket money
Obama’s plan proposes a $1,500 tax cut for the average worker. While we’re a huge proponent of cheap and free dates, most dates do cost money. Having a little extra cash around means having the freedom to buy your date a drink or two at the end of your night of gallery-hopping, bike-riding, rock-skipping or (insert free date here).
2. Better service
It’s a fact -- bad table service can ruin a date. What contributes to bad service? Besides the rare waitperson who is just pure evil, poor service can often be attributed to stress. Which is often due to restaurants being understaffed. Under the American Jobs Act, restaurant owners will be encouraged to hire that extra person they know they need on a Thursday night, and you and your date will have one less thing to worry about.
3. Better venues
And how will business owners spend all this extra cash? If they’re smart, they’ll use the money to incentivize you and your date to come spend your money in their joint instead of the other guy’s.
Which means more outdoor seating, better mood lighting, more free pool, better Karaoke selections, more dishes containing truffle oil, more working fireplaces, more dollar oysters, more live mariachi bands, more drink specials, more creative uses for bacon and overall better dates.