Avoid these common impulsive mistakes you can make immediately after discovering husband's affair!
When I found out about my husband’s affair I was so shocked I just wanted to pack my things and run. An affair was not even a possible scenario in my life. Without talking to him, without even getting him to admit – I knew right there and then that I could never trust him again and that this marriage was over. I felt angry, stupid, disillusioned, betrayed and my self confidence just disappeared. I couldn’t stop imagining him intimate with someone – much smarter, funnier, younger (of course…) and better looking than me. These thoughts didn’t leave my mind for a second – and I let them take over me and my life almost immediately.
These are only some of the critical mistakes I made after finding out about my husband’s marital affair. Now that I am past this, after a long struggle and a long search for the right solution to save my marriage – I know better what NOT to do after an affair. I would like to share these mistakes, hoping I can get you to avoid them and save your marriage much faster and much better .
Confronting my husband and “ending the marriage” – When you are in your most vulnerable state – angry, shocked, shattered – Your perspective is damaged. This is not the time to make a final decision about the relationship and about marriage affairs in general. You have to acknowledge, in spite of the pain – That there are many things to think about (children, love, forgiveness etc) before you decide to end your marriage.
Blaming my self – Deep inside I immediately blamed my self. I asked myself “is she better than me? Better looking? More charming? Younger? Funnier? Easy going?” – I imagined the other woman as all these things. You must remember that in most cases the reasons for cheating has nothing to do with the other woman. It has to do with communication problems and general marriage problems between you and your partner.
Deciding I can NEVER trust him again – affairs marital do not mean the trust is gone forever. Even it you can’t believe it right now – It is possible to regain trust in a relationship after infidelity – and I am a living proof of it. There are specific steps that have to be taken in order to rebuild the honesty – and it is possible to achieve that and have a better marriage than ever.
I’m not saying it’s easy – but saving a marriage after marital affairs is possible. I’m a living proof of it.
The first step is to avoid these critical mistakes. Avoid negative thoughts, obsessive thoughts, “angry” decisions and impulsive behavior.
The next step is following step by step instructions given to you by an experienced family therapist that has a well known record of saving marriages after cheating. Claim your complimenatry e-mail course - go to How-to-Save-Marriage - Right Now!!