I have had three miscarriages. Each one more painful then the last. The final one came after 18 months of trying to get pregnant and 6 months before I got pregnant with my now two year old son. I'm 31 and have been married for almost 7 years to my High School Sweetheart, it's been 13 years together. I went away to college and we maintained our relationship through nightly phone conversations. After a year of dating we got engaged so it was a 5 year long engagement. We didn't have sex for the first time until we were engaged for 2 years, six months later I got pregnant.
That was MLK Jr. weekend of January of 2002 when I was 21. It was a rough semester. I was taking Life Span Development and my Grandmother Died that March, I miscarried that April 15th. Yup, 13 weeks along, second trimester, 4th month according to my doctor. How could I possibly not have known I was pregnant? I had my period each month but it was a strange version of a period and a day shorter. Hard and stringy instead of the usual. They didn't know what went wrong at the time but the baby was developed to 13 weeks so it had just died. I was lucky in all my miscarriages that the babies came out on their own and surgery wasn't required. This baby was "born" in an emergancy room but it started on the 2 hour drive from my home back to school that sunday night. I was expecting my period but I had never experienced cramps that strong before. I tried everything I knew to help and nothing work. The first emergency room the RA's supervisor too my too was full but the second wasn't (both nearby). I never took a test but I had dreams and frequent thoughts about "what would I do if I were pregnant?" 21, Junior in college, engaged long term, worked part time my only way out would have been a miscarriage. After that, I went on the pill but my fiancee had to wait until the title of "husband" in October of 2004 to have sex again. In Biology Lab class they had samples of real babies to show the pregnancy stages, most were miscarried real babies. Did that happen to mine? I had a rough day on the day that baby would have been due, my first angel is still with me.
In September of 2006 we decided to try to get pregnant. That's when I stopped the pill. The second post pill cycle got me pregnant but even at 7 weeks it didn't show on a HPT (home pregnancy test) but the doctor thought I was after a checkup. The next day, before I could get the bloodwork, I miscarried, I saw the embryo this time. It was determined I have low progesterone and would need a special medication asap for future pregnancies. I can't get that image out of my head.
In November of 2007 we had been trying a while so the doctor put my on Clomid. It's a medicine to regulate/start ovulation. For me, I was ovulating late and he wanted to make it earlier. In February of 2008 I got my period and took the higher dose of Clomid prescribed, when I didn't ovulate when I was supposed to I took a test, pregnant. This time the bloodwork showed and I got on progesterone but it didn't work. Gone at 8 weeks. See I got pregnant in January but because I thought I had my period I took the Clomid, you're not suppose to take Clomid when pregnant. It caused the miscarriage. That's when the doctor sent me to a fertility clinic. It came back unexplainable but for future pregnancies I go there first.