Review: The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted…But Chose to Ignore, by Natasha Burton, Julie Fishman and Meagan McCrary. Adams Media. $14.95.
It's the relationship advice we wish our mothers had shared with us when we were younger. Funny and engaging yet brutally honest, The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags shares the dating warning signs you should be aware of — or you'll be sorry later.
Based on Natasha Burton, Julie Fishman and Meagan McCrary's hilarious blog, "Big Red Flags," the book marries useful advice and startling stories that will assure readers they're not alone in the often-rocky quest to find Prince Charming. 15 Relationship Mistakes Women Make
While some of the anecdotes may induce a major case of second-hand embarrassment, the book ultimately gives hopeless romantics a stronger understanding of what's most valuable in a relationship—and most importantly, how to avoid ending up in a heartsick debacle.
Here are our 10 favorite big red flags that every dating newbie — and veteran — should run far, far away from:
Red Flag Rule #29: If you have to think twice about whether or not your man is treating you right, you're already thinking too hard. (Our favorite!)
Red-Flag Rule #3: If you ask the guy you've been sleeping with where he sees the relationship going, and he replies, "I don't want us to be anything more than this," no matter how great the sex is, don't expect a commitment anytime soon.
Red Flag Rule #5: If your "dates" with a guy consist solely of booze and booty calls, chances are he's not your boyfriend.
Red Flag Rule #10: If a guy can't hear the word "vagina" without giggling, he should not be permitted to touch yours.
Red Flag Rule #12: If a guy can pick up a phone and send you a text, surely he can use the same phone and call you with it.
Red Flag Rule #17: If he mashes up your lady parts like he's kneading pizza dough, tell him to lighten up before you're too swollen to cross your legs.
Red Flag Rule #27: If your guy can't tolerate your quirks now, he's only going to resent them—and you—later.
Red Flag Rule #41: If the guy you're dating tells you he can't commit to a relationship right now because he's "processing a lot," don't wait around for him to work through his sh*t. We're all processing a lot…it's called life.
Red Flag Rule #46: If a guy feels the need to tell you that he is not critical, judgmental or self-righteous, we'd argue there's a million-to-one shot he is.
Red Flag Rule #50: If your guy turns out to be "the worst," don't be discouraged. Dating is a process of learning what works for you. The good thing about finding men you don't like is that it narrows down who you ultimately do like.