What a Charming Book! Refreshingly Genuine!

Hi Veronica,

I finally got the chance to pick up your book. Just finished it.

What a charming book! (just like you) It is refreshingly genuine. (also like you)

You and I have the same perspectives on sex. I don't want to write my own book here in an email, but so much of what you have written resonates completely. I have the same approach to sex. I make a safe space for my lover to be who s/he is in bed and I absolutely guard that special space. I don't fake orgasms. I had to chuckle as advice after advice that you give are things I do (that guys don't usually get from other ladies, unfortunately).

It amazes me how many guys have told me that I am the first person they slept with who wanted the lights on. I give the same genital anatomy lesson you do, and I love the looks of wonder (and maybe feeling like they are getting away with something) on guy's faces when I reveal my vulva. I can tell from the naive questions they ask that I am clearing up confusions they didn't even know they had about female anatomy.

Since adulthood I've been on the plump side and I've struggled with body issues since I don't look like a magazine ideal, but I don't have any trouble getting dates-- you are right about sexual confidence being more attractive than a particular body type and that men usually have different personal tastes than the anorexic adolescent society ideal.

I really enjoyed your book and identified with it.

When I was a young adult for a while I only dated women, and it AMAZES me to think of all the comments I heard from heterosexual women about their men! How the penis is ugly and balls are disgusting, how they only go down to get something, how they would never touch themselves "down there," how they endure sex. I became for a while the Lesbian Defender of Men--if sex is so horrible for you, why do you do it? If you are repelled by male genitalia, why touch them? I felt so bad for these poor men.

Thankfully I never had sex with men until it was something I really wanted. I am grateful that I was able to work out my issues with sex before I started having it, especially after hearing from my friends and acquaintances about years of bad sex or women who couldn't even orgasm.

Unfortunately society does not reward women embracing their own sexuality, and women also have the very real fear of getting the "slut" double standard imposed if they revel in their own juiciness. I am delighted whenever I meet other women--you!--who embrace their sexuality with both arms and then open up their spirits to it, even turning early damage into something healthier and more profound than most regular people experience.

Thanks for sharing this book with the world.

Agnes