Tips on how to get back into the dating scene.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sera Filson is a 42 year old writer who has used several dating sites in the last year. When she's not dating her current beau, exercising, or studying, she enjoys reading about body contouring and being a fan of Sono Bello on LinkedIn and Sono Bello on Indeed.
Tips For Online Dating After 40, or Over 50, 60 and Beyond
Dating over 40, or even after 50 and 60, is a sweeping phenomena that will only grow as medical advances allow the human race to live longer. The U.S. Census Bureau states that there are 97 million Americans age 45 or older, and of those, 36.2 million are singles--that's almost 40 percent! If you are over fifty, dating and the singles scene is much different, and a lot more challenging than it was when you were first dating as a youngster. But don't let that discourage you. Think of the dating game as an adventure!
If you don't want to settle for being alone forever, then what are you waiting for? You won't find a mate if you don't jump right in and start searching.
Here are a few things you'll want to be aware of before you start:
Be honest about who you are, and show yourself in the best light. That is, besides using honesty in speech, also make sure you use a fairly recent picture of yourself, and not one that shows you twenty or even ten years younger if you try finding a date online. Even if it's not intentional, you will be viewed as dishonest. You will turn off many prospective, viable dates this way.
Update Your Appearance
Before you start dating, make yourself look appealing. Looks aren't everything, but we all know that they do matter, and that first impressions have the highest impact.
- Eat right and exercise--you'll look and feel better, and therefore, be more appealing.
- Update your wardrobe--stylish, not fancy. It doesn't cost much to look like you're living in this decade.
- Get some nip and tuck to get rid excessive sagging skin from weight loss or aging.
Then have a "natural" picture taken of you, either by a friend, or neighbor. Natural looking photos are cool these days, and staged photo's are kinda out of style.
Polish Your Profile
Online dating over 50 isn't easy--there is lots of competition out there. Imagine you're job hunting. You need a carefully crafted resume that shows off your best accomplishments. So word your profile so that it is honest, and that shows you in the best possible light. And most importantly, be yourself. Don't state negatives, like what you're not into or what you don't like. Rather, stress positives, like what you are interested in. This just puts the reader into a positive mindset, instead of a negative one. If you're having a real hard time writing your profile, ask someone to help you, or hire someone on fiverr.com.
- Don't share your personal information right away, even if they seem really nice. That might come later.
- If you talk on the phone, use *67 to block your number before you call. Assert your desire for privacy.
- Meet in public when you decide to meet someone for the first time, like inside a coffee shop (not in a parking lot).
After the First Date
The first meeting just helps you determine if the other person is too crazy or weird for you. You can't really get to know them in one meeting. So if they pass the first test, progress to a dinner date. Enjoy yourself, and take it slow. Tell yourself "It's just a date, not the rest of my life."
- Be interested and be interesting.
- Spend more time listening than talking.
- Don't talk about past negative relationships.
- Talk about what interests you
You're probably not looking for those same things in a date that you were looking for 20 years ago. Focus on finding someone you enjoy spending time with. You want to feel comfortable with the other person, because after all, you may end up spending the next several decades with your new mate. So don't rush it, just take your time.
There are many people on the dating scene who are good hearted, honest people who just want someone they can enjoy and share life with. But there are many people with their own personal agends on the dating scene, as well. So don't believe everything you hear, but don't be a cynic, either. You'll be all right if you just take the time to learn as much as you can about someone before getting too serious. Find out where they have worked, and where they have lived. Meet their family. If you do discover someone is lying to you, then just move on to another relationship. There are many other singles over 50 out there. And after all, you're protecting yourself--your heart, family, your assets...and your future.
Go Get 'Em!
I've often heard it said, "There aren't any good people left out there! Everyone is looking for a younger man or woman. No one will want me?" Yet the statistics prove that is just not true! There are many people dating over fifty, and they're probably looking for the same thing as you: a person who is a great companion, and who takes good care of themselves. So for those dating 50 and over, don't lose heart--give it your all! So don't just sit around--be proactive! Just get up, open the door to your bright future, and you'll find that the best is yet to come.