And … exhale.
Don’t act desperate. Wipe palm sweat on pants. Subtly! That’s right. Act like this happens all the time. Wait. Don’t do that. She’s a special, precious flower made out of butterfly wings. Just don’t act like this hasn’t happened in six months. Be cool. A Zen pimp with root beer float in his veins. This is all whatever. Yawn. I don’t care. I do care! The Frisky: 5 Celebs Who Tied The Knot In Weird Wedding Attire
More from YourTango: 40 Percent Of Women Are Making This Big Mistake In Bed
I can’t believe a chick this hot ... get a grip! She’s about to kiss you. Lean, don’t lurch. Don’t drool, slurp, or mouth breathe. Lips are not bubble gum. Oh, hot Jehosophat, this is the jam! Touch her face. Follow her lead. Lapping is not kissing. That’s right, champ! Now … slowly … hand on boob. Hand on mother-spelunking boob. Her tongue is making me drunk, like I just chugged a pint of cough syrup. The Frisky: Girl Talk: My Ladyparts Hurt Why Women Like Kissing During Foreplay [VIDEO]