How To Break Up With A Nice Guy

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Man giving girlfriend flowers
He may be Mr. Right, but it's Mr. Right-for-Someone-Else. How does she let him down gently?

I have been dating my boyfriend for seven months now (exclusive for four). We took things slowly because I had just come out of another relationship and I didn't want him to be a rebound. Unfortunately, it seems that's what he is, though. He is really kind and very thoughtful but I am not in love with him. He is a little bland, and though he will make some girl very happy, it's not going to be me. I think he's very serious about me, and I realize I am making it worse by waiting, but this feeling only crystallized last week. My ex-boyfriend dumped me completely out of the blue and I'm worried about hurting my current boyfriend the same way. A year and a half later, I still have not recovered, and we had been together roughly the same amount of time. I know my current boyfriend has a lot of support and people to turn to, so he will cope, but I need some help on how to proceed. Either way, he's going to get hurt but I don't know if I should tell him all the truth or just part of the truth (and if so which part of the truth?) The Frisky: Dating Don'ts: How To Know When It's Time To Dump Him

Reluctant Dumper

The faster you break up with him, the faster he will recover. If you know he isn't for you, don't wait! You also need to realize that the relationship you have with him is not the same as the one you had with your ex, and there's no reason to believe this guy is going to react the same way you did when you were dumped. You're different people, and these are two separate situations. The Frisky: "I've Fallen Out Of Love With My Deployed Boyfriend"

That said, this is what I'd suggest: the next time you see him in person, tell him you have something that's been on your mind lately but has only crystallized in the last few days. Tell him that while you think he is a lovely person and you've enjoyed your time together, you feel in your heart he would be a better match for a different woman.